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Alright, so women are different. We are super, superb, superwomen. That is a fact of life. How do we capitalize on the fact to build a successful business? Business is about taking action and being in control of your own destiny. One thing I know about women is that we know how to take action. All too often, however, we take action for the sake of others at the expense of our own progress.
Are you in the driver’s seat of your own destiny?
Print these out and post them where you can read them often: Here are 16 steps to empower you to take action for yourself and build the prosperity you deserve.
- Have a strong passion and persistent desire to have a successful business.
- Do whatever you must to eliminate the negative self talk. Chant, pray, pretend, affirm, do whatever is necessary, and then get rid of it.
- Change those good little girl habits. It is really okay to think of yourself first.
- Look at yourself as the strong, capable, compassionate women you are.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Your success may depend on it.
- Quit believing what others say is not possible for you. Believe in you own uniqueness.
- Do not look at where you are right now to define yourself or your business.
- Have a HUGE dream and visualize it as if it is yours already.
- Find a support system where you can all be mutually empowered.
- Cease throwing pity parties. They are USELESS. The only invitees are losers.
- Challenge yourself to do something you fear and challenge that fear every day until you overcome it.
- Recognize and realize that you deserve prosperity
- Show confidence! Fear is usually a result of a lack of confidence. If you find you do not have it yet, behave and speak as if you already do and you will develop that quality. (Honestly …it works)
- Believe that you and your time are valuable. You are entrepreneur!
- Know that what you have to say is important
- IMPORTANT! Realize that it is totally permissible for Superwomen to refuse a request to do something you do not want to do *Resources by Angela Baden
” Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” ~Henry Ford
Self-acceptance
We often set unrealistic ideas of the person we should be, and a newly-discovered weakness often causes us pain because it jarringly conflicts with this idea. The first step in overcoming weaknesses is to lose these unrealistic ideas and accept yourself for who you are. By accepting yourself, warts and all, you are not giving up.
Never give up
The process of human improvement is not like instant coffee, or a miracle pill. There are ups, there are downs, and there are times you wonder if you are any better than when you started. Yet bear in mind that anything we did that ever brought us a feeling of joy and satisfaction, only came because we committed to it and saw it through to the end.
Live passionately… what else have you got to do?
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
Women aren’t on their own list of priorities.
“After taking care of everyone else, they are always putting themselves last on the list, and often have very little left to give. There are many women who aren’t living—they just exist. This is a form of self-abuse. Women often wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor. The more you do for your loved ones, the more acceptable it becomes to “let yourself go.” Women believe its okay to sacrifice themselves for their own families. This is a lie that we allow ourselves to buy into, but we need to wake up! The challenge for women is that they must re-language what it means to be a wife and mother. Being a good wife and mother means that if you don’t take care of yourself, in the long run you are ultimately harming all the other people you love in your life. You won’t be the only one who takes the hit.
Fear of Competition
Media and society frequently tell women we need to portray ourselves as “together” and be able to perform any task thrown our way. But when women look at the reality of how overwhelmed they feel in their own lives, they begin to feel like they are not good or worthy enough. Women often see other women who look like they are “doing it all”—and then when they compare themselves, they become overwhelmed and feel inadequate. It’s not easy to face feelings of inadequacy so women usually end up avoiding them. But women need to know you can’t show up in your own life if you are on the run. They tell themselves they are too tired and burdened to compete with others so they don’t believe they have the power to change anything. Then they “drop out” of the game—they give up and let themselves go.
Unresolved anger contributes to letting go
Sometimes women “drop out” because they don’t know how to send a verbal message that says, “Get off my back.” They have unresolved feelings of anger or rage toward someone or about something so they “let themselves go” to express that. When women give up on themselves, they are often sending messages of anger and it could be because of something traumatic that happened in the past or because of unhappiness in a current relationship…like with a parent, husband, or child.
We let fear take over.
Women become paralyzed in their lives and let themselves go because of an underlying fear. A fear of rejection, a fear to accept how they really feel about themselves, a fear of facing the idea that they aren’t enough, a fear of accepting how others may feel about them. They let the fear take over and let other people determine their own self worth. The internal barometer that gauges guides and directs your life as an empowered woman—that makes you know you are enough and okay—is broken and needs to be fixed”.
Rediscover Who You Are
The “Who Am I?” Journal
Who am I? It’s a lifelong question, and getting beyond appearances and labels is the crucial first step in launching your comeback. Be Still! Be Present! The primary thing in your life is the now…the present… there is never anything else”.
No matter who you are, where you live, how rich you are or what your age is, life happens to all of us. However, we are all different and we need to find our own way.
So, I ask you this; What does a valuable life mean to you?
Live passionately… what else have you got to do?
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
“It takes courage to demand time for yourself. At first glance, it may seem to be the ultimate in selfishness, a real slap in the face to those who love and depend on you. IT IS NOT! It means you care enough to want to see the best in yourself and give only the best to others.” ~ Shale Paul
“If you are not taking care of yourself; body, mind, and spirit, the people in your life don’t get the best of you, they get what’s left of you!” ~ Lorraine Cohen
As women, we tend not to take care of ourselves, putting everyone else’s needs before our own. We are more about “embracing extreme self-neglect.”
In effort to fully embrace who we were created to be: women of passion and purpose, though sometimes that may look a little misty. To get clear on what our intentions for self-care are, we need to begin with self-care intention guided visualization.
One of the ways to take care of ourselves is to stay in the present moment. This is difficult to do if you are prone towards worrying about the future and fretting over the past.
The past has NO power and the future has NO presence
This behavior leads to fears, stress and anxiety. When we catch ourselves in one of those mental spaces, we must remember. One of the main reasons we get out of alignment with who we really are – which includes ignoring our self-care – is that we have stopped remembering.
Remember what? Remember who we truly are. The opposite of remember is not forget – We become ‘super hero’s’- scattered here and there, masters of multi-tasking. In order to pull ourselves together again and become whole, we must remember. What we are remembering is a feeling – the feeling of being whole and present.
Living your life for others is a very worthy sentiment. How can you care for others…when you are not taking care for yourself? Always putting others first can make you a doormat to be trodden on. Putting yourself and your need to rest, relax, have fun sometimes, and so on, will make you a better carer, provider or parent because you’ll be healthier and have more energy.
Here are some self-care practices that you can do on a daily basis in order to maintain a sense of peace and wholeness.
1. Set your self-care intention. Always begin your day intentionally. Remind yourself of your self-care feeling. The balance needed are these components:
- Harmony
- Balance
- Healthy lifestyle of exercise
- Beauty
- Inner Strength
- confidence
- self esteem
2. Three things you are grateful for. Start small, start with the basics: health, home, nourishment, friends, family, work…
3. Find a nutritious support person to check in with – this could be a good friend, an accountability partner, a life coach, a mentor – you don’t have to go through this transition alone; and creating new habits is transition. You can set up a time, preferably weekly, to get together.
KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH…KNOW YOUR OWN POWER
A few more things to remember; One of the things I have tried very hard to eliminate from my life is negativity. Negativity is nothing but toxic energy. This toxic energy can come in the form of toxic people, or energy whose only job is to suck and drain the life out of you; or toxic situations. When I find myself in one of these toxic environments, be it with people or circumstances, if I cannot turn the situation around, then I merely excuse myself and remove myself.
What you really want is to be surrounded by people you trust and treasure and people that cherish you.
“Breathing in I calm my body. Breathing out I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment!” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
When you are in doubt, when you feel frustrated, when you are angry, stop… and take a breath. Breathing is the one thing you can do anywhere at any time. It does not cost you anything, but it may gain you much. Remember that stopping is a spiritual action; and so is breathing.
Once you have made the decision to do so, these three practices will easily incorporate into your everyday life.
Set the intention to embrace extreme self-care!
Taking care of yourself is vitally important to a happy survival and by no means selfish.
Keep in mind that if you are happy, you will treat others with respect and respect is earned, not given. By not being happy, you become irritable creating a tendency to disrespect others. Disrespecting someone only creates negative consequences and so amplifies your unhappiness.
If you feel you don’t trust people, you are insecure in your own world and need to balance the three components. If you are worried about what everyone else is doing, you also need to even the scales as this shows a failure to do what you need to be doing.
If you are married, you must be able to keep your identity, do the activities you love, and take care of your needs emotionally and physically. Don’t fall into the trap of being detached from yourself by constantly focusing on fulfilling other’s needs while ignoring your own. If you have children, there is no reason why you cannot take care of yourself first. Enjoy time as a family but step out, take a walk, take a class, or have lunch with friends every week as this balances your life and creates happiness.
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.” ~ Swedish Prove
Be mindful on purpose.
Live passionately… what else have you got to do!
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
“It may be shocking when you realize for the first time that there is something within you (the pain-body) that periodically seeks emotional negativity, seeks unhappiness. You need even more awareness to see it in yourself than to recognize it in another person”
One of the things I have tried very hard to eliminate from my life is negativity. Negativity is nothing but toxic energy. This toxic energy can come in the form of toxic people, or energy vampires whose only job is to suck and drain the life out of you; or toxic situations. When I find myself in one of these toxic environments, be it with people or circumstances, if I cannot turn the situation around, then I merely excuse myself and remove myself.
If someone offered you a bottle of poison to drink, would you? Yet, you deliberately ingest someone else’s negativity or toxicity.
The next time you are in the presence of a toxic person or a person who drains you of energy, remember the bottle of poison analogy, and don’t allow their toxins to enter into your soul.
A negative emotion is any “emotion that is toxic to the body and interferes with its balance and harmonious functioning. Fear, anxiety, anger, bearing a grudge, sadness, hatred or intense dislike, jealousy, envy—all disrupt the energy flow through the body, affect the heart, the immune system, digestion, production of hormones, and so on”
Then, there are those of us who do not need the negative people or situations, because we can be negative all by ourselves. We manufacture our own negative thoughts and continuously feed on them. The bottle of poison is still appropriate here, yet we are self-inflicting the poison. We have very little control of what thoughts enter our heads. But we have definite control of what thoughts remain there.
The next time you notice that you are in the grip of a negative emotion, become still and pay attention to the way your body feels. See if you can locate the negative emotion in your body. Perhaps your heart is beating fast, your jaw is tense or your belly is tight. By being present with your body, you can allow the negative emotion to dissipate instead of reacting to it.
“You will be free to let go of your unhappiness the moment you recognize it as unintelligent. Negativity is not intelligent”
This week, pay close attention to negative thoughts, feelings or actions and any background unhappiness, including resentment, discontent, nervousness or being “fed up.” Become alert to your negativity and repeat silently: “At this moment, I am creating suffering for myself.”
Questions to Ponder:
- “Who are the toxic people in my life?”
- “Who are the nutritious people in my life?”
- “Who do I choose to spend more time with?”
Stay positive on purpose!
Live Passionately,
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
For some reason, stress doesn’t motivate us take better care of ourselves. In fact, it tends to do the opposite.
Instead of eating enriching foods, exercising, and getting support from friends, we backslide from our healthier habits.
Men reported that when stressed, they either drink more alcohol or watch more television. Women reported that their top two stress behaviors are exercising less and eating more junk food. No one needs to be reminded that none of the above behaviors is likely to make you feel better! In fact, these behaviors are destined to make you feel worse. Remember, being in a care giving role can make one feel overwhelmed by life’s events. Often, when faced with the stress of taking care of a very ill or aging family member, a caregiver may neglect his or her own health. Binging on junk food, smoking, lounging around are all means that the stressed-out caregiver may use to relax. Of course, the short term relief from these tactics is horribly outweighed by their long-term consequences.
Indulgences
It’s natural to be tempted to indulge when stressed and in fact, some indulging habits are probably good for you. The last thing a caregiver needs to hear is eat only good food, eliminate caffeine, no alcohol, and exercise seven times a week! Write lists with your patient’s needs, you should also build a list of your own needs.
- You need good quality rest.
- You want well-prepared, healthy food.
- Your body deserves some exercise.
- You are entitled to having fun.
Then follow through on your own needs just as carefully and diligently as you do for the patient.
What can you do about destructive habits that you seem unable to change? Take smoking for example. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, harmful to the smoker and others. But it may also be one of the few things offering you comfort. How can you balance your need for comfort with the need for better health?
The answer is by reducing quantity. Smoking two packs a day is worse than a few cigarettes a day. Eating a box of cookies is worse for you than a couple of cookies. So if stopping the behavior cold turkey isn’t an option for you, work on decreasing the frequency of the behavior.
Know Your Triggers
Identify what triggers your unhealthy behavior by keeping a diary for a period of time. Every time you feel the need to light up a cigarette/grab the box of cookies/search for the bottle of gin, write down what’s going on in your life at the moment. Most likely, you eventually will see a pattern of behavior.
Counteract Your Triggers
Once you have discovered your triggers, decide how to counter them. Make a list of your coping skills, which might include calling a friend, reading some email jokes, logging onto an online support group, taking a walk. Also make a list of rewards- watching a favorite taped TV show, playing solitaire, calling a good friend long-distance.
Approach the issue with two solutions. When you experience your trigger, try instead to use one of your coping skills. If you succeed in not drinking/eating/smoking, you get your reward.
We all need comfort in our lives, especially under stress. Try to maintain a healthy balance that works for you, as you try your best to maintain quality care for your loved one.
Old conditioning can sometimes take a while to re-educate, so we must be loving and patient with ourselves during this transition, but it is important to recognize destructive behavior for what it is, so that it doesn’t perpetuate itself unnecessarily.
Live Passionately,
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
When we recognize our desire to matter, to make a difference, when we are in touch with the yearning in our hearts to be a contribution to life, we want to be worthy of that charge. We become aware of our talents, the possibilities that we have to make a difference in the lives around us whether in small daily actions or in large strokes. We feel a part of the world around us and want to do our part to make it a better place. We start to develop our gifts and remove the blocks to being the best person we can be…
Personal Power
What does it mean to stand in your own power? Personal power is an inner awareness that makes us feel in control of our lives. It is an inner knowing that we can achieve our goals, a calm conviction about who we are and our ability to get the things we want in life. When you are empowered you feel alive, strong and have clarity. You have a vibrant energy! We trust ourselves to make choices that are in our best interest.
To stand in our power we must be bold and confident and have the courage to stand up for ourselves. Standing in our power demands that we be vulnerable, listen to our inner voice, and take risks outside our comfort of what we know. Personal power gives you the inspiration to fulfill your desires in direct alignment with your vision.
Confidence
People with a highly developed sense of personal power have the self-confidence to engage in life with integrity, open perspectives, and with full awareness about themselves. Your beliefs, attitude, mindset and so on conspire to create your reality.
In order to become our very best from the inside out, we need to identify obstacles and the biggest hurdles we have as women – come from the inside.
The Most Common Internal Obstacle: We let fear take over
Women become paralyzed in their lives and let themselves go because of an underlying fear. A fear of rejection, a fear to accept how they really feel about themselves, a fear of facing the idea that they aren’t enough, a fear of accepting how others may feel about them. They let the fear take over and let other people determine their own self worth.
Give yourself permission not to be superwomen… As a way of honoring yourself, I encourage you to practice some of these self care strategies that have been helpful for me and my clients:
1. Give yourself permission to add self care to your life. It’s OK for it to be all about you sometimes. Think of self care as any act of nurturing, meaning anything that enhances your level of health, wellness and happiness. Look at all areas such as physical, mental, social, spiritual and financial. Paying an overdue bill can do just as much for your level of wellness sometimes as a warm bath.
2. Recognize and blast the barriers. Ask yourself: what is preventing you from making self care an everyday occurrence? Some of my clients’ barriers that we often work through are feelings of guilt, lack of time, finances, lack of support or the need for perfectionism. If any of this ring true for you, take some time to determine a plan as to how you can overcome them. As Dr. Phil says…”You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”.
3. Ditch the Superwoman Syndrome. This syndrome is adding unnecessary stress and sickness to our lives. We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves. The guilt we feel often fuels this Superwoman Syndrome. Start letting go of your mental chatter; practice saying No and remember no one’s life is perfect.
4. Remember that small acts of kindness and compassion can have big pay offs.
5. Allow yourself to dream. If you are craving something new in your life, ask yourself what are some of the dreams you have been putting off.
6. Having a healthy perception of life and a positive attitude is one of the best self care strategies you can practice. A daily reflection of gratitude and appreciation goes a long way toward improving yourself care, your self worth, and your whole life.
Honor yourself from a place of kindness and gentleness. We do what we know to be the best at the time. Forgive yourself when needed and celebrate yourself whether you think you need it or not. We all deserve to be celebrated.
Live passionately… what else have you got to do!
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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.
