Category Archives: Romance & Relationships

9 Tips for an Amicable Divorce

Contrary to what you’ve seen in movies, it’s entirely possible to have an amicable divorce. You might have to bite your tongue every now and then, but it is possible. If you’re determined to take the high road, here are nine tips for keeping your cool when your marriage comes to an end.

1. Don’t Call Names

Your parents taught you this before they let you loose on the playground, and it still holds true today. What will you accomplish by flinging insults at your soon-to-be ex? Is a momentary feeling of satisfaction worth the stress of a drawn-out, bitter divorce? Think twice before you twist the knife.

2. Learn How to Compromise

Compromise doesn’t mean I get everything that I want while the other person just deals with it. It is important to enter a divorce negotiation knowing that it is just that — a negotiation. Whether it is who gets to keep the house or the exact child visitation schedule you wanted, you will have to sacrifice some things. A true compromise occurs when both parties win and lose something.

3. Hire a Lawyer

Even if you are anticipating a friendly split, it pays to have a lawyer on your side when it comes time to sign the documents. They can give authority on things like custody and property agreements, and they can also point out any potential problems in the language of your contracts. You don’t want to be dragged in front of a judge five years from now because of a loophole.

4. Don’t Get Jealous

Your relationship is ending. There is no point in being angry, resentful, or jealous if your ex has found someone new. Instead of starting pointless fights that might forever cast you in a negative light to your ex or their partner, try welcoming them with a smile. You don’t have to be best buds — or even friends at all — but you can be polite. This is especially important if you and your ex have children together.

5. Let Go of Past Hurts

Does it really matter if her hours were too long? Will anything change if he admits that he didn’t do enough housework? These petty squabbles won’t result in anything but old, pent-up feelings disrupting the present day. Leave them in the past where they belong.

6. Figure Out How to Divide Your Assets

This is often one of the biggest sources of drama in a divorce, but there’s an easy trick for ensuring that you get your money’s worth: Convince your spouse that it’s actually better for you to have the item. For example, instead of demanding the dog, you might pose the question, “Do you really think that you’ll have the time to feed and walk him every day? Your schedule is pretty busy.”

7. Don’t Vent to the Wrong People

Venting to your friends is a natural part of the divorce process, but make sure that you aren’t putting the listener in an odd or uncomfortable spot. For example, no matter how close that you are to your sister-in-law, it’s inappropriate for you to slam her brother to her face. Think about her feelings as well as your own.

8. Keep the Children Out of It

The biggest rule of a smooth divorce is to keep your children completely shielded from it. This means no “casual” questions about who your ex is seeing or how much their house is worth. They may seem like innocent queries to you, but to a child with divided love and loyalty, they can be genuinely distressing.

9. Find a Support Group

A divorce support group can help you deal with the turbulent thoughts and feelings that accompany a separation. They’ll also give you the confidence to deal with whatever comes your way in the future. Many divorced people find it scary to be single again, but a support group can help you turn it into a freeing, liberating thought instead of an anxious one.

These are just nine secrets to an amicable divorce. You might need to take a few precautions and make a few attitude adjustments, but if you’re serious about making the process as easy as possible for you and your kids, you’ll listen to these ideas. Good luck!

Any Age is Suitable for Dating

During secondary education years some couples have paired off, but prospective dates are numerous simply because proximity places the potential pool of partners within a contained area. As people progress through their 20s and 30s, the numbers steadily decrease as singles regularly become doubles. However, single people in their 40s, 50s, and 60s or beyond shouldn’t be discouraged about dating. Technology has vastly improved the probability for meeting a special someone to share your life’s adventures.

Age Has Nothing to Do With Craving Companionship

Demanding careers that interfere with personal relationships, a spouse or lifelong partner’s dead, divorce, or a long-term relationship split are some of the reasons people find themselves alone in their later years. But once life settles down, craving companionship isn’t atypical. After all, humans are programmed as social creatures. We yearn for closeness. Sharing adventures adds a dimension of pleasure that doesn’t exist without that personal someone at your side. Instead of settling for days of unwanted solitude, internet dating sites for mature adults have begun to spring up across the world wide web.

Dating Sites for Your Mature Years

The internet has opened the world. It has also opened your home town. You may have walked past or met someone on several occasions but had no idea how interesting they are or that they’re single. Take this scenario:

Mary and John wait at the same train platform every day, but don’t progress conversation beyond a polite good day nod. They are both fifty-something, live alone, and crave someone to share their time with. Each one timidly decides to enter the somewhat daunting world of online dating, perhaps using a site like singleandmature.com. Before they know it, they’ve connected and once they realize they’re so close, they share a good laugh. They soon learn that chronological age doesn’t matter; whatever your age, having someone to do things with makes everything that much sweeter.

Narrowed Criteria

Deciding to join a site for mature adults specifically narrows the clientele to your age group and interests. Children may be grown, retirement has been reached or is looming, and you are ready for postponed rewards like travel. The advantage of knowing upfront others are looking for someone within your age range and other demographics hopefully eliminates doubts about compatibility. The decades you have both lived through create a cohesive bond for things like music, movies, and appreciation for your — and each other’s — accomplishments. A few online interchanges will have you soon knowing if you share common interests, such as boating, visiting museums, gardening, or any number of activities that bring you pleasure.

Be Honest

Once you have made the decision to try an online dating site, be honest. Don’t fudge on your age or proclaim interests merely to get a date. If the site has an option to post photos, use one less than a month old. You may not realize how much you may change in a year, but the camera — and your contacts — will. Also, instead of using only a headshot, consider posting action photos.

Once you get started, online dating can be rewarding. Your success will soon have you referring your friends to “…my favourite over 50 dating site…”

Top photo: safari_vacation/Flickr

Divorce in America #infographic

divorce infographic

Hey, did you know that we’re coming up on divorce season? It’s true. It’s a season now.

After the magic of the holidays dissipates and we’re working our New Year’s Resolutions to become the best ‘us’ possible, many couples will come to find that their partner may be the factor that is holding them back from being who they had envisioned they would be.

While February will no doubt center around candlelight, red roses, sensual massages, and romantic evenings for some couples, for many of those who are married, it is the month that statistically, most of them will say goodbye. Among the 50% of marriages in the U.S. that end in divorce, February is the busiest month for divorce all year. How weird is that!? The slowest month? October. Halloween must be good for marriage.

Divorce rates have been going up, and not just within one demographic of people. Long-term marriages among older couples are breaking up, and so are many second marriages. We have an infographic to share with some pretty surprising facts about divorce in America. The most interesting, at least to us, is that 1 out of 5 recent divorce case opinions cite Facebook for evidence. That really goes to show just how deeply social media has been intertwined not just into our daily lives, but into some of the biggest and most difficult decisions we will ever make.

The infographic also covers geographical locations, as well as the average cost and length of the divorce process.


Via: Raiser & Kenniff, PC

Quick Facts on Marriage and Divorce #infographic

marriage and divorce infographic

Marriage trends in the U.S. have been a bit wonky over recent years. People are waiting longer than ever before to say “I do” or are forgoing the legally-binding paperwork altogether, while the number of people remarrying after divorce is on the rise.

Research has continuously suggested that the reason why younger people have been content to cohabit for so long is because the middle-class can’t afford to marry. Surely other moving parts have contributed to keeping people away from the altar, but things may be looking up for the romantics as the U.S. economy faces the largest job growth of the last three presidencies. A good economy is good for families, and the creation of more.

Because marriage trends and what we consider “normal” look so much different today than they did even just 10 years ago, here’s an infographic that breaks down where we stand today, for the most part, in the statistics on the coupling and uncoupling of Americans.

Via: Spodek Law Group

This infographic is a bit out of date, so it does not reflect the newest numbers on gay marriage in the United States. As of today, same-sex couples can legally marry in 34 states and the District of Columbia. Just 16 states have a law or constitutional amendment restricting marriage to the union of one man and one woman.

Why Cats are Better than Men #infographic

This infographic is way too funny not to share. I had to.

As you may know, our home is ruled with the iron paws of our two cats, Devin and Vincent. They are the best alarm clock known to humans; in fact, I woke up at 5 o’clock this morning solely because of the cats fighting, chasing each other from room-to-room, jumping up on the bed, jumping down, and then jumping right back up again–this time a little closer to my face–and repeat, until it became overwhelmingly apparent that I was not going back to sleep. It is through living with these cats for the past several years that I have officially become a Cat Person.

Not only do my cats wake me up at utterly obscene hours of the morning, but they also make me a much happier person. Everything I put into them, they give back through their affection and quirks, including not taking no for an answer when one of them has decided that they will be napping on your lap, or on your laptop.

With over 32 million cat videos currently uploaded on YouTube, it’s safe to say that most of us can agree cats are great. The infographic below takes it even further, however, outlining all of the ways in which cats are in fact better than men, specifically your ex-boyfriend.

Infographic: Why Cats are Better than Men
Source: Why Cats are Better than Men | FreeDating.co.uk

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Take Your Date from Good to Great — 5 Tips to Help Prepare for the Big Night

couple

The biggest problem people face before going out on a date is nervousness. There are so many things that could go wrong! The first impression is so important, and if we mess that up, it could mean the difference between having a great future with that person or suffering the fate of, ‘we will always be friends.’

From your choice in hairstyle to what shoes you wear on your date, there are so many things to fret about. You never had time to lose those 5 extra pounds; you drank so much coffee to calm your nerves that not your pearly whites aren’t so white; and if you stress eat before a date, you risk embarrassing gas-related incidents.

Fortunately, there are some steps you can take while preparing for a date that will quell those jittery nerves and boost your self-confidence so you will be able to present your best self to that special someone. When you are relaxed, your date will undoubtedly feel more relaxed as well. Here are some things you can do to help prepare for your date:

  • Yoga — I have a friend who always does half an hour of yoga followed by a relaxing, hot shower before a date. She said that the combination of breathing and stretching makes her feel better physically, and the fact that she is staying in shape boosts her feeling of self-worth.
  • Perception — Don’t think of it as ‘I am going on a date.’ You will just get stressed out! Think of it as ‘I am going to dinner (or the movies, or wherever) with a new friend.’ Toning down your perception of the event will help prevent you from being too nervous to enjoy your date’s presence once it is time to go out.
  • Clothing — Know what to expect on your date and pick out what you will wear in advance. Will you just go to dinner? Perhaps there is a chance of going dancing afterwards? Maybe you’re going to a theme park, movie, concert, or other event? Another thing to consider is the weather. When you are dressed appropriately, you will be more prepared for your date!

  • Music — If you are meeting your date somewhere, turn on your favorite music and sing along. It’s a great way to expend nervous energy and keep your mind off your worries. Just make sure that you aren’t so into your singing that you forget to focus on safe driving.
  • Practice — When you have a few conversation topics prepared ahead of time, then it could reduce the amount of awkward silence on your date. While it is fine to ask your date questions in order to get to know them better, be careful you don’t ask so many questions that they feel like they are being interrogated.

Grin and Bear It!

The Association for Psychological Science did a study in 2012 that proved that smiling during brief times of stress reduces your body’s physical response. In other words, you feel more relaxed. There is truth to the phrase ‘grin and bear it.’ So as you prepare for your date, smile a lot–and the same goes for during the date. (www.psychologicalscience.org)

Of course, you feel better about smiling if your dental health is in good shape. Your family dentist is one good teeth whitening source if you suffer from dingy teeth. Snacking on crunchy fruits like apples and pears instead of cookies or candy, drinking plenty of water, and developing regular habits about brushing and flossing will also keep your smile bright.

Escaping Bad Dates

Sometimes a date just doesn’t turn out how we expected. Make sure you give you date a fair chance before running in the opposite direction, but if your date just gets more and more awkward as the night goes on and nothing seems to help, it may be in your best interest to make an excuse and leave so you aren’t stuck spending an entire evening being uncomfortable.

The best part about trying to decide how to make an inconspicuous exit when you’re on a date is that you don’t have to rely on friends or family to make a phone call that could conveniently rescue you from a sticky situation. Smartphone apps can do everything from send you a fake text or call you using fake voices and phrasings that help you escape awkward situations. These are especially useful during bad dates!

The Aftermath

If things are going really well, it’s fine to make tentative plans for next time, but don’t plan too far ahead because that could lead to disappointment down the road. Just take things one date at a time without raising your expectations to an unrealistic level. And even if the date doesn’t turn out to be “the one,” perhaps you could wind up with a great new friend who can introduce you to “the one!”

This is a guest post by Becky James-Muth, a woman who enjoys going out on dates–with her husband! Becky uses tips from sites like www.teethwhiteningreviewed.co.uk to keep her teeth white and her breath fresh. After all, just because they’re married doesn’t mean the date can’t end with a kiss goodnight.

Photo by alexey05/Flickr

The Right Gift at the Right Time

Christmas gift giving

Giving gifts is a globally accepted way of manifesting different emotions from people to others. A practice that is often expressed in many different ways in different cultures, sometimes it may be casual and other times it is treated with much reverence. For young and old, man, woman, and child, gifts symbolize thoughtfulness and consideration that people enjoy and cherish.

One particular situation you may find yourself in is giving a gift to someone you are either dating or in a relationship with. This is tricky business for some as they don’t know what is appropriate to give or when it is appropriate to give. Relationships have different stages and only you can truly gauge when the best time to purchase something for someone is. Is it really important to know when to give something? Yes, but what is equally important is what you give too. Gifts and their messages can often be misconstrued. Sometimes things mean one thing to someone and something completely different to someone else. Doing a bit of research, paying close attention, and just arming yourself with some common sense, you’ll be able to successfully give a gift to the person you’re dating or in a relationship with. When done correctly, a gift will be met with much appreciation. Have a look at our tips and pointers on what to give and when to give it:

  1. Giving flowers is one of the most popular things you can do, but it can also give the wrong idea. For example, the time honored tradition of giving roses on a first date is actually not always met with smiles by modern-day women. Roses, especially red ones, are a symbol of love, and let’s face it–there’s no way love is showing up on your first blind date with anyone. Should you want to show someone you thought of them, were excited at the prospect of meeting up with them, and are looking forward to maybe doing it again, your best bet is a more likeable, less affectionate flower like carnations. In simple pink or yellow, either on their own or bundled with tulips or stargazers, you’re sending the right message on that first blind date.
  2. Because gift giving can become a very expensive exercise, choose gifts and dates that actually mean something. Week-verseries are not cause to bring out the credit card, but at the six month mark, it would be nice to do something for your partner that’s a little more tangible. By this time you may have fallen in love and red roses would be fine, but to commemorate it’s always a good idea to acknowledge where the relationship started. What movie did you see on your first date? Why not get it on DVD. Did you have dinner at a particular restaurant? Why not take him there? Gifts don’t always have to be boxed, and remember, thoughts count just as much!

There should also be fairness when it comes to gift giving in that no gender should be excused from giving gifts because they are usually only on the recipient end. Especially when it comes to anniversaries, you must put as much thought in it as you would like your love to!

7 Tips for Connecting with Your Spouse and Spicing Up Your Marriage

happy couple

Spice adds flavor to your food, and it can also add flavor to your marriage. Finding ways to add a little extra spice to your marriage can build a bond like no other. From making your spouse feel special, to a little spice in the bedroom, marriage takes effort from both parties. That is why you want to be sure that you put it at the forefront of your thoughts to ensure that you are both happy and satisfied. How can you add some spice to your marriage? Here are 7 suggestions to keep your relationship happy and healthy:

  1. Take the Initiative

    Does one of you take the initiative more than the other? If you are the one that does not, why don’t you plan a night for the two of you? Whether it is a night of magic in the bedroom, or a night on the town, taking initiative can be quite sexy. It will also let your spouse know that you care for them and value them.

  2. Turn Off the Television

    How much time do you and your spouse spend in front of the television after you get home from work? If you are like most couples, it is probably from the time you get home until the time you go to bed. Why not turn off the TV and spend some time talking about your day? This can make all the difference in your marriage, and can make your time in the bedroom even spicier.

  3. Take a Walk

    Why not take a romantic walk together after dinner? This can give you a great time to catch up, and it can be good for you too. Just a little stroll around the neighborhood can be something that you will look forward to each night, simply because it will be time that the two of you can communicate and reconnect.

  4. Do Something Together

    Have an activity that you and your spouse both love to do? Get out and go golfing, hiking, climbing, bowling, karaoke, or anything else that you enjoy and can do together. When a couple has activities that they can do together, it helps to solidify their relationship and bring them together in a way that they may not have been previously. It can also help your sex life to get a little exercise.

  5. Touch Each Other

    Touching each other is one of the best ways for you to bond with your partner. Even a simple touch that is not sexual can have a big impact in showing how you care. When you are committed to someone, touch is the way to show your commitment. Holding hands, hugging, and making love are all ways that a couple can express their love for each other. Do not forget the importance of touch when you are spending time with your spouse.

  6. Listen to Each Other

    Communication is a two-way street, and if you don’t know how to listen, your significant other can feel unheard and disconnected from you. That is why you want to be sure that you listen to what they say. If they indicate that they want something or need something from you, do your best to give that to them, if possible. This shows that you are listening to them, and when you make that effort and are willing to give them your full attention, it shows your level of devotion to them.

  7. Sex it Up

    A healthy sex life is a sign of a healthy marriage. By making sex and romance fun, you can improve your marriage and your relationship. Buy some sex toys and games to amp up the spice in the bedroom. A spicy sex life will give you satisfaction and having fun will bond you with your significant other. Do not be afraid to bring a little excitement into the bedroom. It can be great fun to role play and try something new.

These above tips and suggestions can help keep the spice in your marriage. A little spice a day can keep divorce away.

Even though divorce is so common, you don’t have to be part of that statistic and the emotional and financial drain that goes along with it. After several of my friends began to contemplate divorce, I started researching more about just what goes into this entire process on http://www.cadivorce.com, and even after the divorce is final, the drain of divorce takes on the role of the gift that just keeps on giving. From going to court to terminate spousal support in California to dealing with your ex and child custody issues, keeping your marriage strong can help you to prevent these issues. So spice up your marriage and make it into a relationship that will last and last.

Photo by renata_souza_e_souza/Flickr

What Women Want… Dating Secrets Revealed [infographic]

What do women really want when it comes to men, dating, and relationships? That is perhaps one of the most frequently asked questions by men, single and committed alike, everywhere. Women are often believed to be confusing and difficult, often leaving men standing alone with question marks looming over their heads. No one can tell you what any singular woman wants in a partner or relationship besides that woman, but when it comes to what women are most often attracted to in a man, we now have the advantage of statistics and results from women’s behavior on online dating services.

Check out the following infographic that breaks down what specific attributes women most often seek in a potential male partner, based on women’s searches while online dating.

Infographic: What Women Want
What Women Want by Free Dating.co.uk

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7 Steps to Stay Connected to Your Partner During an Argument [infographic]

How do you get through an argument with your partner or spouse? On several occasions, especially in the first few years of our relationship, my fiance and I would realize that we were actively participating in an argument that was going in circles with no resolution while we just became angrier with each other, so we would each retreat to our computers and chat it out. Having to type what we wanted to say to each other in clear and concise sentences seemed to calm us both down, and it was easier for me to abandon my own personal need to have the last word. It’s a terrible personal trait, I know.

While chatting it out online worked to keep my fiance and I calm and able to get our points across, every relationship deals with arguments and misunderstandings differently. Check out the following infographic for 7 tips to stay connected to your partner during an argument and resolve issues in a calm, compassionate manner.

Infographic - Seven Steps For Ending Arguments
Infographic by A Center for Marriage Counseling and Measured SEM

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