Are you sick of hearing about Valentine’s Day? Are you apathetic or just begrudgingly bitter today? Have no fear! We have you Valentine’s Day-phobic folks all taken care of with this absolutely hilarious compilation of FAILs in romance from the very clever and never dull FAIL Blog.
This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Split-Self. All opinions are 100% mine.
It’s no surprise that I am a huge fan of the young adult and chick lit genres. They are often very satisfying, light and decadent treats that make their frequent appearances in our book reviews section. While I read an array of different genres of books, it’s the chick lit books that let you wind down and curl up with at the end of a busy and stressful day and bring you into a world of humor and just often enough, lightheartedness.
There’s a book that just emerged on the scene that is self-defined as changing the course of chick lit and after reading a little bit about it, I am inclined to agree. Split-Self is a new book from F.S. Publishing that is your typical romance novel that will undoubtedly be intriguing to a great deal of people who have especially hopped on the Twilight and True Blood bandwagons. The main character of the story is a vampire who draws energy out of other people in order to supplement her own and she does this by feeding on them in seductive and totally hot encounters that leave them begging for more. But what this books has that redefines the typical chick lit genre we are all familiar with is that Split-Self revolves around a romance between a woman and a man… and another man. In F.S. Publishing’s own words: “Boy likes girl, boy also likes boy … girl thinks that’s hot.”
The romance itself in this novel will surely put a lot of people off from wanting to read it, but what I would really like to explore is the fact that why I automatically know in my gut that a great deal of people will not want to read it because the couple in the book is not a couple, but a polyamorous relationship containing one woman and two men. When people hear about most polyamorous relationships, especially with the induction of the HBO show Big Love and traditional polygamy being centered around one man with multiple wives. I actually really love the idea of a polyamorous relationship that includes one woman and two men; it’s a great spin and is actually a great deal more realistic than many may think.
Polyamory is not “new” by any means; it is not merely an open relationship, where people within a foundation relationship have permission to seek whatever they choose and have already agreed on beforehand outside of that relationship. What polyamory is, in fact, is more than two people in one, committed relationship. There are many sex educators and family therapists that counsel, have written books and have taught at lectures and workshops who educate people and couples of all kinds on how to live life with limitless sexual possibilities and while open and poly relationships are not merely based on sexual gratification, sexuality is one of the factors that could potentially cause rifts in your relationships due to jealousy and other conflicting emotions. One of the most intriguing non-fiction books I have found on the subject that I actually ordered the day after I discovered it is The Ethical Slut from educators and practicing “ethical sluts” Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.
When you look at this topic from a wide angle and disregard the many, many immediate responses you will hear when a debate like this pops up such as the “sanctity of marriage,” poly relationships actually make a lot of sense. Very few animals are monogamous and as it turns out, very few married people, both male and female alike, are monogamous. According to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy approximately 50% of married women and 60% of married men will have extramarital affairs at some point while in their marriage. With statistics like these, it means that in nearly 80% of marriages as a whole, someone in that marriage is cheating on their spouse.
Given all of these little tidbits of information I have gathered, as well as my personal feelings on the topic, which is that in a relationship of any kind, what works for those people in that relationship is fine by me and I am not one to pass judgment on anyone or anyone’s relationship, I now want some of your input! What do you think of polyamorous relationships? Do they work? Can they work? Are you in one? Care to share any details? Leave whatever’s on your mind on the topic in the comments!
I recently came across this absolutely hilarious video from CollegeHumor. Now I’ll be the first one to stand up and say that CollegeHumor is not always funny, but in this case, this video could not get any funnier. Enjoy!
A recent study has found that on average, men gain 14 pounds when their partners are pregnant. While they’re sticking to the story that they gain weight so their partners won’t feel bad about their weight, I think their mental process goes a little like this–”Getting the woman ice cream… I love ice cream! I should also have some ice cream!” Or at least that is what goes through the head of my partner. And it does not necessarily happen strictly when a woman is pregnant, either. My partner and I have each gained a bit of weight in the past three years we have lived together and I like to think it’s because we are both very much in love with one another and just got comfortable and I don’t necessarily think that is wrong in the least.
But weight gain isn’t the only change we see in ourselves when in a relationship. It is very common for us to have changes in a variety of different preferences merely because we get to see our preferences through the eyes of someone who may not feel the same way about it as we do.
Some things you may change while in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship or a marriage, are changes in music taste, reading lists, vocabulary, style, television shows, food, and there may be more.
Personally, I know that my own personal preferences in each of these areas have changed, at least a little bit, while with my partner. While I’m more of an indie/emo music fan, my boyfriend is a professional guitarist and very into other well-known guitarists such as Steve Vai, John Petrucci, among others, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy what he had played for me or was playing while in my immediate company. My reading lists have not changed, but I have noticed a slight shift in my boyfriend’s… Who found himself reading Kinky Gazpacho, that was recently reviewed here. And throughout our relationship, I have discovered my love of cream cheese, something I would have never, ever, ever tried before my boyfriend practically shoved it down my throat while continuously assuring me that I would love it.
How about you? Have you noticed any changes in preference while in relationships or in your marriage?
If you have ever spoken in depth with or been in a relationship with a survivor of abuse and trauma, one thing that you will come to know is that a great deal of survivors have a problem with not relationships in general, but with love and intimacy.
A lot of survivors have a difficult time with closeness with another person and find themselves having to teach themselves boundaries and when any of us run into a little trouble and need help, there are shelves full of psychological insight, self help books, audio books, films and so on at our disposal. Healing Sex is a DVD that at first glance, you would think is just like the rest of the “self help” market, but once you watch it, it has the potential to really change your life and the way you look at intimacy.
Staci Haines has vast experience as a workshop leader and somatic practitioner and presents hands on exercises for you to practice either alone or with your partner for battling a lot of hurdles that survivors deal with when it comes to intimacy, such as disassociating during sex which I, as well as a great deal of survivors I speak with now have had problems with in our adult lives. Haines welcomes you into her workshops and one-on-one sessions and works with people to help them set boundaries in relationships and intimacy and teaches them how to express their desires, likes and dislikes. She gives us so much knowledge and draws upon her extensive experience to present educational and often triggering material in a comfortable and accessible way that will make you actually want to open up to your partner, now that you know how.
This DVD did wonders for me. I absolutely loved the way in which the material was presented and I especially loved that Haines doesn’t think, act or teach with the sense of false hope that she is a miracle worker. Healing from any kind of trauma takes a long time and a great deal of dedicated, hard work and the effects of childhood sexual assault have a tendency to follow survivors throughout their entire lives. This film shows you realistic ways to cope with your past and your present in terms of intimacy and overall relationships.
[rating:5/5]
