January has already come and gone, and with it are the New Year’s resolutions that have already been lost. This year, more than any other year before, I noticed more and more people making New Year’s resolutions for their blogging life, rather than their day-to-day, and a great deal of those bloggers are still going strong. Two of my favorite, favorite bloggers have both been achieving the same resolution, and that is to participate in (and hopefully finish) the 365 Days project on Flickr.
For the past month I have seen both of these bloggers take a self-portrait and post it on their blogs each and every single day and it has been an awesomely eye-opening experience as the blog reader, to get a glimpse into the lives of the people behind some of my favorite blogs. It only took a month of me almost obsessively visiting these blogs just to see their new 365 self-portraits to want to join in on the fun, and so February 1st marks my official start with 365 Days. Woman Tribune has a brand new Flickr account (so be sure to connect with us over there,) and with this, I will also be blogging on a personal level once a day, which is something very new for me to be doing on Woman Tribune. As anyone who reads us regularly, personal anecdotes are weaved through a lot of the posts, but it is very rare for me to be uncensored and unapologetically open, so giving you all a more intimate, if you will, look at my day-to-day life is something that is actually very exciting for me to be dabbling with and I hope you all enjoy your daily look into my life.
For the first day of the 365 Days project, I wanted to share a little morsel of awesomeness I had become aware of a little over a month ago, and that is the new book from Babeland–Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex. This book is a sex advice, sex tips, how-to and self help book all rolled into one. It cuts through the traditional taboos society had already put in place for us a long, long time ago. It opens up discussions on sexual relationships when you’re trans, which is what I was first so giddily happy about when I had first opened it. Usually, when the topic of sex and sexuality comes up on a blog, we have a tendency to speak about sexual relationships as if they only happen between cisgendered beings, but what happens when someone just so happens to have been born with male genitalia but is truly a woman? This book opens up that discussion, which I loved. It of course features a great deal of sex toys, which is only natural for a book put out by a feminist-friendly sex toy shop whose ultimate goal is to sell more sex toys. It contains a multitude of sections on different sexual practices, lifestyles and bedroom play including, but not limited to, BDSM play and anal play. However, please remember that if you engage in any type of BDSM/bondage play, to do with a partner you know and trust and to have a safe word. It also covers practicing safe sex and how to be the safest you can possibly be when engaging in any type of sexual act, and a Q&A section that answers all of those pesky and sometimes embarrassing questions you may have about sex, like ‘Hey, what was that sound and is it supposed to come out of there?’ This book is definitely a must-read for any sexual being, regardless of age, sexual orientation, gender identity, or relationship status.
I went into a little more detail about Moregasm in a video review I recorded for my other blog, Menstrual Poetry, which deals with mostly feminist issues and activism. You can check out the video review of Moregasm here.
Every month Babeland hosts a series of workshops and events for women and couples at their three stores in L.E.S., SoHo, Brooklyn, and Seattle. What I love about Babeland is that they are completely pro-women and pro-feminist, as I have boasted about before, and many of their great events and workshops are completely free to attend so finances are not a factor in whether or not you can experience what Babeland has to offer.
This summer Babeland has some great events and workshops lined up and due to the economy, I know I am not about to shell out money I may not have for luxuries, so I am only highlighting the free events below; check them out!
Lower East Side, New York
July
Cheap Date Night
Friday, July 17, 8:00pm
Bring your sweetie to Babeland for a night of frugal flirting! Enjoy a free mini-workshop about the G-Spot and P-Spot while snacking on complimentary treats. The first 25 couples receive a free gift bag with Babeland goodies and discounted coupons to use that night for other cheap date night activities on the L.E.S. – including discount tickets to Sunshine Cinema’s midnight movie.
Contact store for more information
August
Get Wet, Get Wild
Wednesday, August 5, 7:00pm
Escape the dog days of summer and come to Babeland to learn about the sexiest ways to beat the heat. Enjoy a free mini-workshop covering all of Babeland’s water-friendly toys and lubes and how to use them, while enjoying some refreshing treats. The first 25 attendees get to “fish” in Babeland’s pool of prizes!
Contact store for more information
SoHo, New York
August
Medical Professionals Night
Monday, August 3, 8:00pm
Do you have patients or clients who are going through menopause, are pre-orgasmic or have concerns with erection or ejaculation control? Many people come into Babeland looking for books, toys, or lube that their therapist, doctor, or counselor recommended–let us give you a first-hand tour. Complimentary refreshments will be served and all attending with be entered to win a gift bag of Babeland goodies! Please RSVP to aimee@babeland.com by August 1, 2009.
Contact store for more information
Brooklyn, New York
July
Sexy Moms Series: Sex During Pregnancy
Wednesday, July 29, 7:00pm
This month’s Sexy Moms event will feature Erica Lyon, a childbirth educator and founder/owner of Realbirth: Childbirth Education and Post-Partum Support, who will talk about “Sex During.” Perfect for expectant moms, new moms, their partners and anyone who would like to learn more! Complimentary refreshments. Co-sponsored by New Space for Women’s Health and Park Slope Parents.
Contact store for more information
August
Babeland Brunch: Butt Sex
Sunday, August 2, 12:00pm.
Coffee and muffins and sex toys, oh my! Indulge both your appetite and your sexual curiosity at our monthly Babeland Brunch. Meet the Babeland staff, learn more about our products and enjoy complimentary caffeine and baked goods from Blue Sky Bakery. Enjoy this month’s free mini-workshop–Anal Sex 101.
Contact store for more information
Get Wet, Get Wild
Thursday, August 13, 7:00pm
Escape the dog days of summer and come to Babeland to learn about the sexiest ways to beat the heat. Enjoy a free mini-workshop covering all of Babeland’s water-friendly toys and lubes and how to use them, while enjoying some refreshing treats. The first 25 attendees will each receive the chance to “fish” in Babeland’s pool of prizes.
Contact store for more information
Sexy Moms Series: Sex and the New Parent
Wednesday, August 26, 7:00pm
new parents can discover how to put the zing back into their sex lives, with tips and advice from guest speaker (TBD). This topic is ideal for new moms, moms-to-be, and parents of small children who are wondering why their sex lives took a detour once the baby arrived! Complimentary refreshments. The Sexy Moms Series is jointly sponsored by New Space for Women’s Health.
Register now
Seattle, Washington
July
Babeland Brunch Series: Bottoms Up
Sunday, July 5, 11:00am
All butts like stimulation, so whether you want to unlock the secrets of prostate pleasure, or simply explore backdoor eroticism, Babeland’s Sex Educators tell you everything you need to get started. We will demystify common myths, address cleanliness concerns and suggest the best toys for beginners.
Contact store for more information
Blitz, Capitol Hill Arts Walk Featuring Crystal Barbre
Thursday, July 9, 5:00pm
Crystal Barbre seeks to express our primal connection to nature and how it affects our spirit, our behavior, and our sexuality. Barbre juxtaposes references from pornography and the animal kingdom to explore the questions of what it means to be a human animal in a civilized world. Her paintings are a commentary on the role of women in society as sexual fantasies while also celebrating the powerful force of female sexuality.
Contact store for more information
Sex Toys for Couples
Sunday, July 19, 7:00pm
Ignite your sex play with some of the new sex toys designed especially for couples. Discover hands-free stimulation explore spontaneity with remote vibrators, or take phone sex to new heights. Butt toys, strap-ons, and sensual treats will also be covered in this toy tour led by Babeland Sex Educators.
Contact store for more information
August
Kinky Toys
Wednesday, August 19, 7:00pm
Spank! Tickle! Tease! Delight! Learn the basics of kinky toys, from restraints to clamps to floggers. Sensation toys are easy to incorporate into your sex life and can add a lot of fun, plus a higher level of trust and understanding between you and a partner.
Contact store for more information
Babeland is currently running an awesome promotion that I wanted to share with everyone. From now until May 22 you can receive up to $30 off of any purchase you make through Babeland.com.
Babeland is a feminist-friendly, woman-owned adult store that really knows women and what women really want when it comes to sex toys, DVDs, and erotica.
Check out the coupon codes below and shop Babeland!
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Masturbation is a healthy part of every person’s life. Even as part of a relationship and while maintaining a healthy sex life, self-love still plays a healthy role in one’s life.
People start exploring their bodies at very young ages; from infant boys who every time you change a diaper, their hands are immediately exploring their penis and young girls who will mindlessly start exploring themselves whenever time permits. This is extremely healthy and positive behavior, but there are a great deal of people and organizations who beg to differ, going as far as to saying that any type of sexuality whatsoever, including masturbation, is unnatural, sinful, and just about anything else they can think of in order to scare people out of doing something that is natural and should be celebrated.
Jamye Waxman has a master’s degree in sex education and has written the book Getting Off, an entire guide to masturbation just for women–Or for men who want to know more about the body of a woman and pleasuring all of those sensual zones a woman has. Getting Off is an asset for every single woman, regardless of their knowledge of sexuality or their bodies. The book goes over several different topics, from the anatomy of an orgasm (the small, indifferent orgasm, the mediocre, satisfying-but-not-by-much orgasm, the can’t-get-enough, pass out afterward orgasm, and everything in between), fantasies, vibrators and other sex toys that can be used to heighten sexual pleasure while masturbating, how masturbation is viewed by mainstream media and the people who use the media as their only ground for knowledge, and so much more.
While reading through the different sections of the book, I was overjoyed to see a lot of the topics brought up that I didn’t expect to be brought up in such a refreshing light, such as the topic of anal sex and stimulation and how a great deal of women enjoy anal stimulation but feel too shy to explore the possibilities it can bring them sexually due to its social stigma as being referred to as strictly an exit. It also highlights a great deal of fun facts, such as the fact that graham crackers and Corn Flakes, food items that people eat to curb hunger, which in fact invented to curb masturbation, and the first vibrators were found in doctors’ offices to help cure women of “hysteria,” or what I deem as merely “sexual frustration” since the hysterical woman stereotype is still alive and going strong.
Getting Off is a resource that you will find yourself flipping through again and again, it is full of extremely positive and helpful information and completely obliterates the falsities that society and mainstream media have put in place for women, especially the “prudish woman” title or the belief that women cannot be sexual and sexually satisfying individuals.
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One of the main reasons why I felt compelled to add a Love & Sex category to Woman Tribune is because I firmly believe that in order to maintain a long and healthy sex life with your partner, it is necessary to experiment with each other and one of the very best and most fulfilling ways to experiment is with sex toys. After years of having the same sexual partner, many people become almost immune to the touch of their partner. We come to know their thought patterns–How they are going to touch us, when they are going to touch us, and what is going to come next; it becomes almost robotic and you find yourself simply going through the motions of sex.
I believe that sex should be something that is enjoyed by all involved. It is not something you participate in to merely fill your “this is how many times normal couples have sex” quota; it is something to be enjoyed and is something you should be able to be completely open about; and that includes the right to experimentation.
Whether you have a sexual partner or you’re making love to yourself, good sex is something that can be achieved as long as you are completely open with your partner as well as with yourself. Introducing sex toys to your bedroom can turn your sex life from being a monotonous chore to steamy, can’t-get-enough sex. It isn’t just a myth that a good sex life can improve your mood as well as improve and even save your relationship or marriage. Some people I have spoken to do not necessarily agree with me when I tell them I believe that sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship, but I do honestly believe that; in my experience, a healthy sex life makes it much easier to have open lines of communication and an unshakable trust between the couple, both of which are proven to set the scene for a healthy and happy relationship.
By simply bringing an adult toy into your bedroom you are able to experiment and perhaps even be turned on to new things, which is exactly why adult toys are so popular. Even a simple vibrator can spice up your sex life more than you may think, especially a Rabbit Vibrator; one of the most popular and in-demand vibrators among women and once you see and feel it, you will immediately know how it has gotten such a great name for itself.
We bring up the topic of sex toys quite a bit. What toys are out there, what they do, how you can use them, how you can use them with your partner and so on. Now, when on the topic of sex toys, there is also this unspoken list of things to remember when operating light machinery and on that list is never, ever attach a sex toy to a saw blade.
You would think that would just be common knowledge, however, in Lexington Park, Maryland, a 27 year old woman was airlifted to Prince George’s County Hospital Center due to injuries caused by a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade.
The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.
The saw cut through the sex toy and wounded the woman. While the wounds were severe enough for immediate, emergency attention, the woman is now said to be home and recovering from her injuries. The woman is also on the record saying that the sexual acts were consensual, and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed.
I am willing to bet this woman will never allow her partner to think up fun things to try with sex toys again.
If you have ever spoken in depth with or been in a relationship with a survivor of abuse and trauma, one thing that you will come to know is that a great deal of survivors have a problem with not relationships in general, but with love and intimacy.
A lot of survivors have a difficult time with closeness with another person and find themselves having to teach themselves boundaries and when any of us run into a little trouble and need help, there are shelves full of psychological insight, self help books, audio books, films and so on at our disposal. Healing Sex is a DVD that at first glance, you would think is just like the rest of the “self help” market, but once you watch it, it has the potential to really change your life and the way you look at intimacy.
Staci Haines has vast experience as a workshop leader and somatic practitioner and presents hands on exercises for you to practice either alone or with your partner for battling a lot of hurdles that survivors deal with when it comes to intimacy, such as disassociating during sex which I, as well as a great deal of survivors I speak with now have had problems with in our adult lives. Haines welcomes you into her workshops and one-on-one sessions and works with people to help them set boundaries in relationships and intimacy and teaches them how to express their desires, likes and dislikes. She gives us so much knowledge and draws upon her extensive experience to present educational and often triggering material in a comfortable and accessible way that will make you actually want to open up to your partner, now that you know how.
This DVD did wonders for me. I absolutely loved the way in which the material was presented and I especially loved that Haines doesn’t think, act or teach with the sense of false hope that she is a miracle worker. Healing from any kind of trauma takes a long time and a great deal of dedicated, hard work and the effects of childhood sexual assault have a tendency to follow survivors throughout their entire lives. This film shows you realistic ways to cope with your past and your present in terms of intimacy and overall relationships.
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We have been featuring articles and items from Babeland in our Love & Sex category and we know we are not alone when we say that we love Babeland. Throughout the past 15 years, they have made quite the impression on the people in the cities their stores are located as well as on the people who frequent their website and I cannot think of a better place to purchase those intimate items your loved one will go crazy about.
Anyone who has ever shopped online knows you sometimes end up paying an astronomical amount in shipping and in some cases, is a deal breaker once you see the shipping charges and for that reason, Babeland is offering absolutely free shipping with purchases over $50 and some awesome deals and ideas for stocking stuffers with an entire section dedicated to items under $30.
Make sure to check out some kits sure to delight, like the Sensational Sasi Kit, the Good Clean Fun Kit, the Come for a Cause Kit, and the Eco-Delight Kit. Also be sure to check out the products we have featured in the past by going here.
Have fun shopping and make sure you get your order in by tomorrow, December 12th at 1pm to make sure that your items get to you in time for Christmas!
Giving a great blow job isn’t as hard as the hype surrounding it. Anyone can give a great blow job that will make it hard for your partner to think of much else for days after. Giving a bow job is a versatile sex act that can be done pretty much anywhere and all you need to know are some small, simple tricks…and a few toys to spice up the act never hurt anyone, either.
Be prepared with some sexy goods. Have the Blow Job Expert Kit on hand and you’ll find the edible gel, lickable oil, and accompanying vibrator will help transform you from a novice into an oral sex master. (Plus you save 25% when you purchase all the toys together!)
Study up. In addition to these blow job techniques, you’ll find great oral sex tips in the DVD Nina Hartley’s Guide to Better Fellatio, The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio book, and the Low Down on Going Down book.
Get comfortable. A blow job is much more fun without a sore neck. Find a position that works best for both of you, depending on where you are (you can’t really lounge comfortably in an elevator, you know) and the angle of the cock you’re dealing with (work with the natural downward angle of your throat). Kneel before your man with him standing if you’re in a confined area, or when you want to strike a pose that is really hot. Other positions: seat your partner and crouch between their legs (slide a pillow under your knees if you’re not on a soft surface), or lay down and let your partner thrust into your mouth, (harder to control the depth, but good for you lazy types). If you’re in a car, your partner can lay down lengthwise in the back.
If you’re using a condom, put it on now. Try a Trustex flavored condom or Kiss O’ Mint condom if you don’t like the taste of latex. A sexy way to set the scene is to use your mouth to put the condom on before you get busy.
Give us a kiss. If you’re dealing with a soft penis, you don’t have to wait until it’s hard to start the show. Put it in your mouth when it’s soft (or semi-hard) to get acquainted. Kiss it. Lick it. You can sweeten things up by applying an edible gel like Good Head Gel or Sliquid Green Apple.
Mouth off. Slide your lips gently over your teeth for smooth sailing. Most fellatio recipients like lots of spit, but others prefer a drier job, so check in with your partner. Asking quick yes or no questions like “want it dryer?” or “more spit?” can be helpful and hot. Despite your amazing oral sex technique, you aren’t a mind-reader, so watch your partner for body language cues.
Experiment. You can do more wonderful stuff with your mouth than just suck (and remember–the harder you suck doesn’t necessarily mean the better it feels). Mix it up by licking the sensitive underside of the shaft, the nerve-ending-loaded head of the penis, and the testicles. Softly blow on the moistened areas. The combination of sensations will feel incredible.
Hands-on. Give your blow job a hand. Grip the cock around the base and slide it up and down, hand-job style, in tandem with your mouth. (Some folks like a tight squeeze, others may not, so check in.) This is great because you can cover a lot of the shaft this way without worrying about taking the whole cock in your mouth. You can concentrate on the super-sensitive head and suck as hard or softly as you and your partner like. Use lube for extra slipperiness. A silicone lube like Eros Bodyglide is great for blow jobs: it’s concentrated so you only need a tiny bit, it’s long-lasting so you won’t need to keep stopping to reload, and it doesn’t have a distracting taste or smell.
Deep throat. Deep-throating the act of taking the entire shaft into your mouth and throat can be cool, but you can give a perfectly stellar blow job without doing so. The key to deep throat is to relax your jaw and throat muscles as much as you can. Otherwise, you trigger the gag reflex.
Accessorize. Bring some toys into your routine. Experiment with cock rings, butt plugs, or mini vibrators (like the Finger Fun vibe) for some attention on the testicles and perineum. Hold a Pocket Rocket vibrator against your cheek to add vibrations to your mouth play. Or try sucking on ice or a breath mint to transmit a tingly sensation to your favorite penis. Again, check in with your partner to see how experimental you should be.
Get into it. Look at your partner and the ecstacy you have caused! Make eye contact. Show your partner how much you love being down there. Moan, make appreciative noises (a well-placed MMMM! can make for some nice vibration, too), let your partner know how turned on you are. Don’t neglect the rest of the body, either stroke, tickle, scratch the thighs, stomach, butt, and everywhere else you can reach.
Sucking Silicone. This applies to every cock: silicone, rubber, glass, vegetable and flesh alike. When you’re dealing with a dildo, treat it like your partner can feel everything you’re doing to it because they can. For more on this topic, see How to Suck Strap-on Cock.
Finish the Job. It is ultimately your choice whether or not to swallow. Your partner’s diet, health, habits and frequency of ejaculation will determine the quantity and taste of the ejaculate. The ejaculate of someone who ingests lots of red meat, caffeine, alcohol or cigarettes, may taste more intense than that of a non-smoking vegetarian. The most ejaculate you might encounter is a teaspoonful or so. You have several choices if you aren’t crazy about ejaculate, but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings:
- You can take it in your mouth and discreetly deposit into a nearby towel.
- As your partner approaches climax, withdraw and finish with your hand.
- You can let your partner come on your body and admire the copious amounts of ejaculate.
- You can use a condom.
When you’re totally focused on giving head, it can be a lot of fun whether it’s for power play (your partner’s most precious asset is at your mercy), intimacy, or the pure fun of getting someone off. Remember, you should only be performing fellatio on somebody if you’re really into it and are able to focus all of your energy on what you’re doing. If you’re staring at the clock, waiting for it to end, or worrying about the laundry in the dryer, you won’t have a good time and your partner will be able to tell you’re not into it, which can be distracting, too. Think of it this way–Do you want your partner to be going down on you and keep looking at the clock every five minutes?
This post is brought to you by Babeland. 
On the topic of sex, most men will say that the act and finishing touch, in particular, is a bit unfair. After sex, my partner will complain that I had multiple orgasms, can’t move and demand a sandwich afterward while he had one orgasm. I can argue that perhaps my multiple orgasms are the equivalent to his one, but I wouldn’t know since I am not a man and admittedly have no idea what the male orgasm feels like. I do, however, know that having multiple orgasms is a gift that I would love for him to be able to share with me. While a huge percentage of men simply believe that having multiple orgasms is impossible, I have a secret to share with you that has the ability to rock your world; especially if you’re a man–All men have the ability to achieve multiple orgasms.
For the man who believes male multiple orgasms are impossible or for men who have heard about these mysterious male multiple orgasms and want to know more (ie: my partner) I couldn’t recommend The Prostate Pleasure Kit from Babeland more.
The Prostate Pleasure Kit contains everything your man (or you, if you’re reading this and happen to be a man) needs for complete prostate pleasure and achieve multiple orgasms: The classic sex guide The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia & Douglas Abrams, The Aneros Prostate Stimulator, Maximus lube, Babeland’s favorite anal lube in fact, and Rocket Balm, good (and safe) for a nice, tingly feeling during masturbation, oral sex and even intercourse.
If you’re thinking to yourself “Ha! My husband/boyfriend/manfriend/life partner would never let anything near his butt; it just isn’t happening and what, exactly, does prostate pleasure have to do with multiple orgasms?” I have to tell you, my partner was just as apprehensive! With the looming fear of pain as well as the fear of bodily functions, a man may think to himself at first “Nope, not happening. Ever. Get it all away from me.” But perhaps after reading through the book that comes with this kit, The Multi-Orgasmic Man, they may be even more curious about prostate pleasure and perhaps even get over the initial fear and anxiety that comes with something being near their prostate.
The Multi-Orgasmic Man is a complete guide of sexual secrets of every should know. This book gives every man the ability to experience multiple orgasms and dramatically enhance his sexual relationship, which they have printed on the cover of the book. Within the first few days of having this book, me and my partner read through parts of it together and it really brought us closer together in our relationship because I began to fully understand how everything works when it comes to men; most of which I wasn’t aware of before. If you’re not one to accompany your man while he reads through this book, there is a section specifically for women which helps women fully understand how the foreign male parts work and how to help your partner as well as yourself become a multi-orgasmic person. The book and prostate tools that come with this kit go together very well because throughout the book it speaks of the prostate, how to fully know yourself as a man inside and out and gives you methods to use in order to prolong orgasms by holding the prostate. By using the prostate toys that come with the kit, you become more aware of reaching the point of no return.
The partner’s thoughts:
The book is very well written and covers both sides of the techniques given in the book to achieve multiple orgasms; spirituality as well as logic and physiology. As a person who leans more towards the logical and scientific side of things, it was nice to have scientific facts back up Asian spirituality.
While my partner isn’t a multi-orgasmic man yet, the journey to multiple orgasms will be broken up into a series that will outline his progress and eventual success, so be sure to check back frequently because you never know when he will hit a milestone that will need to be reported to our readers, especially those who are men looking to achieve multiple orgasms. Consider subscribing to our RSS feed so you don’t miss anything!
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