January 5, 2010

Not So Common(ly Talked About) Relationships

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Split-Self. All opinions are 100% mine.

It’s no surprise that I am a huge fan of the young adult and chick lit genres. They are often very satisfying, light and decadent treats that make their frequent appearances in our book reviews section. While I read an array of different genres of books, it’s the chick lit books that let you wind down and curl up with at the end of a busy and stressful day and bring you into a world of humor and just often enough, lightheartedness.

There’s a book that just emerged on the scene that is self-defined as changing the course of chick lit and after reading a little bit about it, I am inclined to agree. Split-Self is a new book from F.S. Publishing that is your typical romance novel that will undoubtedly be intriguing to a great deal of people who have especially hopped on the Twilight and True Blood bandwagons. The main character of the story is a vampire who draws energy out of other people in order to supplement her own and she does this by feeding on them in seductive and totally hot encounters that leave them begging for more. But what this books has that redefines the typical chick lit genre we are all familiar with is that Split-Self revolves around a romance between a woman and a man… and another man. In F.S. Publishing’s own words: “Boy likes girl, boy also likes boy … girl thinks that’s hot.”

Split Self

The romance itself in this novel will surely put a lot of people off from wanting to read it, but what I would really like to explore is the fact that why I automatically know in my gut that a great deal of people will not want to read it because the couple in the book is not a couple, but a polyamorous relationship containing one woman and two men. When people hear about most polyamorous relationships, especially with the induction of the HBO show Big Love and traditional polygamy being centered around one man with multiple wives. I actually really love the idea of a polyamorous relationship that includes one woman and two men; it’s a great spin and is actually a great deal more realistic than many may think.

Polyamory is not “new” by any means; it is not merely an open relationship, where people within a foundation relationship have permission to seek whatever they choose and have already agreed on beforehand outside of that relationship. What polyamory is, in fact, is more than two people in one, committed relationship. There are many sex educators and family therapists that counsel, have written books and have taught at lectures and workshops who educate people and couples of all kinds on how to live life with limitless sexual possibilities and while open and poly relationships are not merely based on sexual gratification, sexuality is one of the factors that could potentially cause rifts in your relationships due to jealousy and other conflicting emotions. One of the most intriguing non-fiction books I have found on the subject that I actually ordered the day after I discovered it is The Ethical Slut from educators and practicing “ethical sluts” Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

When you look at this topic from a wide angle and disregard the many, many immediate responses you will hear when a debate like this pops up such as the “sanctity of marriage,” poly relationships actually make a lot of sense. Very few animals are monogamous and as it turns out, very few married people, both male and female alike, are monogamous. According to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy approximately 50% of married women and 60% of married men will have extramarital affairs at some point while in their marriage. With statistics like these, it means that in nearly 80% of marriages as a whole, someone in that marriage is cheating on their spouse.

Given all of these little tidbits of information I have gathered, as well as my personal feelings on the topic, which is that in a relationship of any kind, what works for those people in that relationship is fine by me and I am not one to pass judgment on anyone or anyone’s relationship, I now want some of your input! What do you think of polyamorous relationships? Do they work? Can they work? Are you in one? Care to share any details? Leave whatever’s on your mind on the topic in the comments!

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About the Author: Holly Ord

In addition to being the Founder and Editor of Woman Tribune, Holly Ord is a freelance writer, web designer and developer, feminist activist and blogger, and hopeless video game addict. She lives in Northeastern Pennsylvania and has been blogging on liberal politics and gender equality on her personal website, Menstrual Poetry since 2007.

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7 Comments on Not So Common(ly Talked About) Relationships / Add Your Comment

  1. Great information,.
    i am extremely interested to reading this ,
    thank you for the post,
    keep going on..

  2. Man what a cool review i’m looking forward to reading the book.
    Im married and I like to with the right guy have her with him, it heaps horny watching my wife getting hot with a guy I could talk about this all night.

    peter

  3. I’m not sure how I feel about this subject. In the back of mind it sort of sounds intriguing as long as it is with the right people.

    But on the other hand–it’s pretty much taboo….

  4. CorrinaLynn says:

    Bountiful Blessings Dear One;

    Currently I am already in a wonderful relationship with 2 men;
    My Primary Mate and Love of Life; Soul Mate if you will, and His best friend and mine, have a wonderful adult understanding relationship and are always there for one another in a way no one else in this world could or would ever be;
    I has worked or us for quite some time now; and While all down the history of time, it is generally one man having multiple partners, it can work very well with one woman and 2 men, if they are adult enough, to share complete mutural respect, with the utmost compassion for all parties, together; sharing and caring in a way that is not often seen in this world we do live today; It works for us because we are best friends in all ways known to humans, with no jeolousy in anyway shape or form; and we take care of one another every need; we even dream of one day creating a kind of sanctuary free lifestyle community of like minded and hearted people that can truly live a One Family Circle in Heart;
    Blessings Abound!!!!

  5. Tina T says:

    As someone who has been married for a long time, I don’t understand any type of open relationship. From a practical point of view, I can’t imagine too many women truly wanting a relationship with 2 men. It may sound good in theory, but let’s face it, most men have very expensive hobbies (cars, boats, electronics) you could easily go broke with 2 men in your life (plus twice the laundry–no thanks)

  6. Thomas says:

    Awesome post, I don’t know if this could work for me but if it makes people happy then there must be some positive to it. I will have to keep learning to make a true decision. Thanks for the eye opener.

  7. Tracy says:

    My wife and I started with an open relationship but met a very nice man who moved in with us. It evolved into a very comfortable MFM triad. We had no problems, though both men are straight. He ultimately moved to another part of the country, but we feel this would be the ideal arrangement if we can find another compatible man.

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