Several couples have experienced the battle of compromise in various areas in their time together. Just because a couple takes vows to commit for life doesn’t mean they will agree on everything; in fact, I have yet to meet a couple that does.
Some areas of disagreement are significant and can wreak havoc on the relationship if they don’t come to terms with an agreement, while others are frivolous spats that never should have come to fruition. I say, choose your battles, and someday I will follow my own advice on that. But for now, I want to talk about an area that quite often requires compromise in order to maintain our sanity, but shouldn’t be significant enough to start the divorce papers. That area is the master suite. I can almost feel the earth move as many people are probably nodding their heads on this one.
I am going to share some ideas on specific differences you might have with your better half where you both can be relatively happy. I say ‘relatively’ because it’s all about compromise.
Some Like it Hot
Temperature is a hot topic in our home, pun intended. When it comes to sleeping temperature, I like it slightly above the point of seeing my breath, while my husband likes it slightly below sauna level. Yes, that’s an exaggeration, but you get the point.
Regulating temperature in one room to suit two differing preferences is a bit of a challenge. However, we found a solution. I set the temperature at a cool 65°F and place an extra blanket on his side. It’s an easy solution, especially if you use a twin size blanket on a king size bed.
In the winter I like it even cooler, so I open the window slightly on my side of the bed. Of course this will only work if your windows are vertical, rather than horizontal. Then, we use a twin sized electric blanket on my husband’s side of the bed.
This Bed is Just Right
Just like Goldilocks, finding the right comfort level in your bed can be a challenge. When you have a partner, it compounds that challenge to a point where it’s nearly impossible. Well, it was. They now have wonderful mattresses that can accommodate more than one preference. For example, you can find an adjustable Sleep Number bed, which allows you to adjust the firmness to your liking, and your partner can as well as on their side of the bed. It’s like couple’s therapy in a mattress…really. If Sleep Number isn’t for you, you can find a myriad of other mattresses and reviews from consumers, including others that are adjustable on www.best-mattress-reviews.com.
Another solution would be to place a board under your side, if you prefer more support than your spouse, or the opposite if they prefer more support.
Do You Hear What I Hear?
This is an area that might be trickier than most. If one person likes to listen to music while sleeping, while the other likes complete silence, then you have to get creative. Basic ear plugs come to mind when I think of someone wanting complete silence, which would allow the other to listen to some soft music or whatever ‘noise’ they prefer.
Fortunately, my husband and I agree in this area. We both like a fan (on high) to drown out all noise–but the noise of the fan that is. So, we like the “white noise” effect, but not other noises from outdoors or in the house while we sleep. The fan does a wonderful job of eliminating all other noises; however, and unfortunately, we wouldn’t know we have been through a tornado until we are all out of Kansas. But at least we agree on it.
For those who are seeking a balance of drowning out unwanted noise but don’t want to use a fan, try the following options:
- White noise machine
- Sleep machines
- Soft instrumental music
You might not agree on these, either. But I did mention ear plugs, right?
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
I’m not talking about our choice in PJ’s or wearing makeup to bed. What I am referring to here is the room’s decor. If you are like my husband and I, you probably have different taste when it comes to decorating the home. While you can try to compromise by having ‘his, hers, and ours,’ that can create a very chaotic atmosphere, especially if it varies as much as ours does. The easiest solution here is to have one person responsible for certain rooms.
My husband is responsible for the game room’s decor, and I ‘got’ the bedroom. To keep peace, though, I gave him options to choose from and refused to make it a woman’s room out of respect for him.
In closing, creating a room for two when there are two completely different preferences at work is a bit tricky, especially for a bedroom. You both have to sleep in there, which is important. However, I hopefully have shared enough information to help you out, or possible inspire more ideas of your own.
Photo by there2roam/Flickr
6 thoughts on “How to Adapt to a Master Suite for Two — The Art of Compromise”
I’m pretty lucky that my husband let me choose most everything for our room. He mainly wanted it not to be “too girly” which worked for me as I prefer a very simple style.
That’s definite. I’m always hot and he’s always cold. I pretty much chose everything in the room. He always says “however you want it, it’s good” lol.
The only thing my husband is concerned about is the bed. Luckily we both agree on what the bed should feel like so it was easy to pick out a new mattress. Great Post!
Our biggest issue is that he likes to read after we go to bed and I can’t fall asleep with the light on. I compromised by getting a cute eye mask. It blocks the light and makes me feel glamorous 🙂
Great post! My habit that my Husband was not fond of: Falling asleep with the TV on. His habit that I was not fond of: Sleeping with the Fan on ALL night! So, we’ve compromised… no more TV and limited fan use 🙂
Different people have different sleeping preferences. Some may not be comfortable with any noise or light but some do. But having a nice bed may sometimes drown out all the other disturbances.