Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

For some reason, stress doesn’t motivate us take better care of ourselves. In fact, it tends to do the opposite.

Instead of eating enriching foods, exercising, and getting support from friends, we backslide from our healthier habits.

Men reported that when stressed, they either drink more alcohol or watch more television. Women reported that their top two stress behaviors are exercising less and eating more junk food. No one needs to be reminded that none of the above behaviors is likely to make you feel better! In fact, these behaviors are destined to make you feel worse. Remember, being in a care giving role can make one feel overwhelmed by life’s events. Often, when faced with the stress of taking care of a very ill or aging family member, a caregiver may neglect his or her own health. Binging on junk food, smoking, lounging around are all means that the stressed-out caregiver may use to relax. Of course, the short term relief from these tactics is horribly outweighed by their long-term consequences.

Indulgences
It’s natural to be tempted to indulge when stressed and in fact, some indulging habits are probably good for you. The last thing a caregiver needs to hear is eat only good food, eliminate caffeine, no alcohol, and exercise seven times a week! Write lists with your patient’s needs, you should also build a list of your own needs.

• You need good quality rest.
• You want well-prepared, healthy food.
• Your body deserves some exercise.
• You are entitled to having fun.

Then follow through on your own needs just as carefully and diligently as you do for the patient.

What can you do about destructive habits that you seem unable to change? Take smoking for example. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, harmful to the smoker and others. But it may also be one of the few things offering you comfort. How can you balance your need for comfort with the need for better health?

The answer is by reducing quantity. Smoking two packs a day is worse than a few cigarettes a day. Eating a box of cookies is worse for you than a couple of cookies. So if stopping the behavior cold turkey isn’t an option for you, work on decreasing the frequency of the behavior.

Know Your Triggers
Identify what triggers your unhealthy behavior by keeping a diary for a period of time. Every time you feel the need to light up a cigarette/grab the box of cookies/search for the bottle of gin, write down what’s going on in your life at the moment. Most likely, you eventually will see a pattern of behavior.

Counteract Your Triggers
Once you have discovered your triggers, decide how to counter them. Make a list of your coping skills, which might include calling a friend, reading some email jokes, logging onto an online support group, taking a walk. Also make a list of rewards- watching a favorite taped TV show, playing solitaire, calling a good friend long-distance.

Approach the issue with two solutions. When you experience your trigger, try instead to use one of your coping skills. If you succeed in not drinking/eating/smoking, you get your reward.

We all need comfort in our lives, especially under stress. Try to maintain a healthy balance that works for you, as you try your best to maintain quality care for your loved one.

Old conditioning can sometimes take a while to re-educate, so we must be loving and patient with ourselves during this transition, but it is important to recognize destructive behavior for what it is, so that it doesn’t perpetuate itself unnecessarily.

Live Passionately,

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Christine is a certified life coach for women. She is the founder of Girltime Coaching and also writes her blog, Live Passionately.