Disclaimer: This post is adult in nature and therefore only intended for a mature audience.
The Taffy Tickler Water Buddy looks really cool. When I first saw it on Vibrators.com, who had contacted me to partner for a review, I let the possibility of reviewing this vibrator marinate in my head for a little while before I made a final decision. After a few days I went back to it and was still completely intrigued by its appearance, so I decided to take a chance with something I wouldn’t normally review–something completely different and maybe just a little off the wall. What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway, right?
So when the packaged arrived in a very discreet and plain white box, I immediately ripped the box open, eager to see what this vibrator looked like up-close. It looked exactly as it did on the website. It has a bulbous head that tapers into its thinner shaft. It’s blue and white, which I think is awesome since a great deal of my toys fall into the “pretty girly colors” category and I like to have some variety when it comes to colors with my toys. Bottom line, if I get a toy that is not pink or purple, consider me a happy camper. I was still just as intrigued by the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy as I was when I first saw it. There is a little section cut out of the bottom left corner of the packaging with a small sphere sample of the material used on the vibrator (note: you are not able to touch the actual vibrator so no one has had their grubby fingers all over it or anything) so you can see for yourself what it feels like before taking it out of the package.
The product description of the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy on the website says that this vibrator may look a little intimidating, but assures the customer that the “petals” are “extremely soft silicone.” To the toy and product description’s credit, the spikes (I’m sorry, they do not resemble petals and no one will ever see or touch this toy and immediately think of the word petals) are indeed pretty soft to the touch and cover the entire vibrator over a plastic vibe. However, they are only soft if you are running your hand over it so lightly you’re barely touching it. They are not extremely soft, but they are soft enough that I was still intrigued and willing to give this vibe a shot.
Before I tried the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy, I was talking about it with a friend of mine who had reviewed another variation of the Taffy Tickler line of products and gave me some very pertinent tips on how to go about using it. Taking her instruction very seriously, I used a spectacularly generous amount of water-based lube and I also warmed myself up with another toy that was significantly larger than the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy just to make sure I was completely prepared for it.
I wasn’t. I was not prepared for it at all. I used so much lube that I literally gasped when I saw how much was missing from the container of my favorite lube on the planet and it did not help at all. Not one little bit.
The Taffy Tickler Water Buddy does not tickle. The sensations felt by it cannot even compare to how being tickled feels, even rough tickling where you don’t know if someone is trying to in fact tickle you or dig their fingers into your body as hard as they can. This vibrator is painful. I attempted to use it externally first, which is the safest bet when you’re literally afraid to put something inside of you and usually, if something can spark the attention of my clit then we’re good to go. This vibrator did not feel pleasurable at all. In fact, it felt annoying. After a few deep breaths I tried to insert it and it would not go in. This made no sense to me, given the fact that there was a considerable amount of lube on the toy itself and on me, so I gave it a little more force, moved it in and out of myself exactly three times before I started shaking my head and saying the word ‘no’ repeatedly.
I had attempted to use it by solely holding it very lightly against me with the vibration on and the vibrations contained in this vibrator are really great. They are intense and there are multiple speeds which can be adjusted by turning the dial at the bottom of the battery compartment. But while I did enjoy the intensity of the vibrations, given off by two AA batteries, my brain kept focusing on the severe discomfort I was in because of the sensation of the spikes. I should also mention that that this vibrator is called the Water Buddy for a reason–It is completely waterproof so you can take it into the bath, shower, pool, hot tub or any other water-filled environment.
The sensations felt by the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy is something I never want to feel again. It is extremely painful, it makes your vagina burn kind of like a urinary tract infection, but much, much worse. That pissed off face the model on the package of this vibrator has? Yeah, I’m now fully convinced she has in fact used this product because I have been making the same, exact facial expression since I attempted to use it.
The Taffy Tickler Water Buddy, in all of its 6 1/2 inches, is anything but a pleasurable experience and would be better fitting if it were marketed as some sort of sick torture device. Please consider this review as the universal warning to stay away from this sort of silicone dollop spiky texture at all costs. Please.
A huge thank you goes out to Vibrators.com for giving me the opportunity to review the Taffy Tickler Water Buddy. I’m sorry I didn’t like it more, but they stock a great deal of different vibrators, all of which I’m betting feel a lot better than this one, so check them out.