Changes We Often Go Through in a Relationship

A recent study has found that on average, men gain 14 pounds when their partners are pregnant. While they’re sticking to the story that they gain weight so their partners won’t feel bad about their weight, I think their mental process goes a little like this–”Getting the woman ice cream… I love ice cream! I should also have some ice cream!” Or at least that is what goes through the head of my partner. And it does not necessarily happen strictly when a woman is pregnant, either. My partner and I have each gained a bit of weight in the past three years we have lived together and I like to think it’s because we are both very much in love with one another and just got comfortable and I don’t necessarily think that is wrong in the least.

But weight gain isn’t the only change we see in ourselves when in a relationship. It is very common for us to have changes in a variety of different preferences merely because we get to see our preferences through the eyes of someone who may not feel the same way about it as we do.

Some things you may change while in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship or a marriage, are changes in music taste, reading lists, vocabulary, style, television shows, food, and there may be more.

Personally, I know that my own personal preferences in each of these areas have changed, at least a little bit, while with my partner. While I’m more of an indie/emo music fan, my boyfriend is a professional guitarist and very into other well-known guitarists such as Steve Vai, John Petrucci, among others, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy what he had played for me or was playing while in my immediate company. My reading lists have not changed, but I have noticed a slight shift in my boyfriend’s… Who found himself reading Kinky Gazpacho, that was recently reviewed here. And throughout our relationship, I have discovered my love of cream cheese, something I would have never, ever, ever tried before my boyfriend practically shoved it down my throat while continuously assuring me that I would love it.

How about you? Have you noticed any changes in preference while in relationships or in your marriage?

We Heart Powell’s Books (& Think You Should Too!)

If you’ve checked out our book reviews recently, you may have noticed that our reviews look a little different. Since this site started (over a year ago!) our book reviews have always contained the Amazon.com widget, making buying the book we’re reviewing easy to do with just one click. While the widget was beneficial for our readers to make purchases, compare book prices, and buy used books from other Amazon members, I found another online book retailer that I fell in love with.

Powell’s Books is an independent bookstore that offers the largest selection of books, both bestsellers as well as the widest selection of hard to find and out of print books I have ever seen. I am all about supporting small, independent businesses not only online where small businesses have more competition than ever, but also in my every day life. I think it is so important to shop at local stores for anything you can buy through them–books, groceries, even clothes; if you can buy local and buy through independent retailers, do it, because it helps the economy in the city where you live and it’s part of being a good (and aware) human. We see “mom and pop” stores go out of business all the time due to the struggle to stay open while in the vicinity of multi-billion-dollar corporations. The local and independent stores around you need your support, most of the time, to feed their families. When you shop independently, you are helping other people instead of corporations.

In order to bring these every day sentiments into my online life, Woman Tribune is now a supporter of Powell’s Books and we urge you to support them as well! Not only has their selection impressed the pants off of me, the prices of most of their books (not just a select few, but most of their books) are cheaper than any other book retailer I have seen.

On our main page there is now a wide banner with a search embedded directly into it to make searching for books you want easy to do right from our front page! You can also search the site using the banner below. Go ahead, try it out.

We have set up a bookshelf through Powell’s Books so you can see the books we have reviewed here on Woman Tribune and buy the titles you’re interested in! You can see our bookshelf here. Books are listed in oldest-to-newest in the order we have reviewed books on the site so if you’re looking for the most recent books we’ve reviewed, go to the last page of the bookshelf.

We hope that you come to love Powell’s Books as much as we do!

Book Review: No Matter What! by Lisa Nichols

I usually stay very far away from any type of self help-like books; I’ve always believed that people who just so happened to become successful in their lives felt it was their right to write a self help book for the masses based on very little personal merit and rode on the coattails of the fact that the mass populace had heard of them before (ie: Dr. Phil.) I’ve also become very fed up with books targeted towards women that repeat the mantra of “You’re great and can do anything you set your mind to… As long as you have a man in your life.” So when I had heard of Lisa Nichol’s book, No Matter What!: 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love, I was weary. In fact, I was ready to pass on the book completely because to me, a self help book of any kind is pretty much interchangeable for the next supposed “big, self help phenomenon” on the market. But I didn’t pass on the book and luckily, Lisa Nichols didn’t present her readers with regurgitated bullet points and run of the mill anecdotes and advice to reaching your greater good.

To put it bluntly, Lisa Nichols is real. No Matter What! is full of Nichols’ true to life stories from relationship struggles, to thoughts of suicide, to becoming a single mother, to more relationship struggles, to knowing what she wanted to do with her life and her own struggle to get there. She shares with her readers the truth about her life and what she had to do to get to where she truly wanted and knew she had to be. She sugarcoats nothing, which is what appealed to me the most. I cannot tell you how many times I found myself rolling my eyes while reading a book that claimed it could help me and my life because the situations in the book were too small to really put my own life in the shoes of the author. Everyone has had relationship trouble and many people have weight issues and while these two life situations come up in most everyone’s life, an author will not get into the heads of the readers to really help me without touching on the fact that these situations can become increasingly difficult to deal with. These situations vary in severity from person to person, obviously, but an author must be prepared to handle the severity of the situation that may be present in a great deal of their readers lives. That is the reason why I enjoyed Lisa Nichol’s book so much. She shares uplifting stories from her life as well as the heartbreaking, angry, and even shameful stories of her life and throughout it all, she tells her readers that no, it wasn’t easy to get past those roadblocks, but she did it and she has the same hopes for the people that she reaches out to through her book and through her speaking appearances.

No Matter What! is not merely a book that is to be read once and then forgotten; it is a resource that can be used countless times throughout your life. In every chapter of the book there are a series of action steps to help hone your nine “bounce back muscles” that are imperative to have throughout life because with these muscles (The Understanding Muscle, The Faith in Myself Muscle, The Take Action Muscle, The I Know Like I Know Muscle, The Honesty Muscle, The Determination Muscle, The Forgiveness Muscle, and The Highest Choice Muscle) you can achieve what you want to achieve in your life… No matter what!

Admittedly, I enjoyed reading Lisa Nichols’ stories about herself rather than the sections where she gave advice on how to change your life. She is a great writer and can tell a great story that leaves you wanting more information about the situation and what she did afterward, which is understandable since she is also the co-author of Chicken Soup for the African American Women’s Soul. I am assuming I would have enjoyed the Lisa Nichols memoir even more.

Rating:
Buy the Book!

Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation

Masturbation is a healthy part of every person’s life. Even as part of a relationship and while maintaining a healthy sex life, self-love still plays a healthy role in one’s life.

People start exploring their bodies at very young ages; from infant boys who every time you change a diaper, their hands are immediately exploring their penis and young girls who will mindlessly start exploring themselves whenever time permits. This is extremely healthy and positive behavior, but there are a great deal of people and organizations who beg to differ, going as far as to saying that any type of sexuality whatsoever, including masturbation, is unnatural, sinful, and just about anything else they can think of in order to scare people out of doing something that is natural and should be celebrated.

Jamye Waxman has a master’s degree in sex education and has written the book Getting Off, an entire guide to masturbation just for women–Or for men who want to know more about the body of a woman and pleasuring all of those sensual zones a woman has. Getting Off is an asset for every single woman, regardless of their knowledge of sexuality or their bodies. The book goes over several different topics, from the anatomy of an orgasm (the small, indifferent orgasm, the mediocre, satisfying-but-not-by-much orgasm, the can’t-get-enough, pass out afterward orgasm, and everything in between), fantasies, vibrators and other sex toys that can be used to heighten sexual pleasure while masturbating, how masturbation is viewed by mainstream media and the people who use the media as their only ground for knowledge, and so much more.

While reading through the different sections of the book, I was overjoyed to see a lot of the topics brought up that I didn’t expect to be brought up in such a refreshing light, such as the topic of anal sex and stimulation and how a great deal of women enjoy anal stimulation but feel too shy to explore the possibilities it can bring them sexually due to its social stigma as being referred to as strictly an exit. It also highlights a great deal of fun facts, such as the fact that graham crackers and Corn Flakes, food items that people eat to curb hunger, which in fact invented to curb masturbation, and the first vibrators were found in doctors’ offices to help cure women of “hysteria,” or what I deem as merely “sexual frustration” since the hysterical woman stereotype is still alive and going strong.

Getting Off is a resource that you will find yourself flipping through again and again, it is full of extremely positive and helpful information and completely obliterates the falsities that society and mainstream media have put in place for women, especially the “prudish woman” title or the belief that women cannot be sexual and sexually satisfying individuals.

Rating:

Stop Training Sitters, Put Everyone on the Same Page with By The Book

Every parent will continually be faced with the decision of who they are going to leave their children with when they need a sitter. Many parents have experienced “parent guilt” when leaving their children with a sitter, but there is a great book out that will eliminate any discomforts, doubts, and second thoughts you may have about leaving your children with anyone.

Karen Berg’s By The Book puts parents, their sitter, and their children all on the same page by outlining your child’s daily routine and how they should react to certain circumstances. It is a book full of adorably illustrated pages with the space you need to fill in everything your sitter needs to know about your family and taking care of your children. It comes equipped with pages about how to handle disciplinary actions, what to do in case of an emergency, what to do in case your child is sick, and a page where you can fill in where your sitter can reach you throughout the time they are with your children.

Because of By The Book, you will never be plagued by having to re-write sitter notes or already leave the house and remember that you forgot to tell your sitter something very important. You will never feel as if you have left your child in incapable hands because you know that you gave your sitter everything they need throughout the time you’re gone, and you won’t find yourself calling home every five minutes. By The Book makes it extremely easy to keep all of the pertinent information about your child, their routine, and what to do in case of an emergency all in one place.

By The Book is great for anyone taking care of your children, including babysitters, nannies, work at home moms, moms who work outside of the home, single fathers, grandparents, children with special needs, and so on. You can purchase By The Book in hardcover as well as refills for the book on their website. As a special bonus, you will receive 25% off of your purchase of a hardcover copy of By The Book by using promotional code BTBK7757.

Leslie Patricelli Offers Up a Series of Bright & Delightful Books for Children

Leslie Patricelli is the author and illustrator of a series of bright, silly, engaging, and delightful books for children.

Baby Happy Baby Sad is perfect for toddlers and goes through the two most definitive emotions a baby has every single day–Happiness and sadness. It is a thick board book, full of color, highlighting scenarios that may occur in a baby’s day such as playing in mud, which of course makes the baby happy and getting a bath, which makes the baby sad.

However, my personal favorite of the two books is Higher! Higher! Higher! Higher! is an adorable tale of a young girl on a swing pleading with her father to keep pushing her higher and higher. It is a particularly silly but charming book that truly takes hold of a child’s imagination and the little girl continuously goes higher and higher on the swing. She goes higher than a giraffe, higher than a building, higher than the mountains, into the sky, and lastly, she meets a little alien and they high five. I absolutely adored this book; it is a definite must-have for any young child.

What I especially loved about this book is the fact that the book involves a young daughter and her father, rather than her mother. I am a stepmother of two daughters and in the society we live in, we so often see images of children and their mother’s and while that is important, we often overlook the importance of a child’s father in their life.

These are not the only books by Leslie Patricelli; she is also the author and illustrator of other books for young children including Binky, Blankie, BIG Little, Quiet LOUD, Yummy YUCKY, and The Birthday Box; all of which are sure to be hits with your children. Patricelli’s books can be bought on Candlewick Press’ website.

Buy Baby Happy Baby Sad | Buy Higher! Higher!

Book Review: If Women Ran the World Sh*t Would Get Done by Shelly Rachanow

As soon as I read the title of this book, the first thing I thought of was ‘Damn straight!’ and I am sure many, many other women thought that to themselves upon first glance, but If Women Ran the World Sh*t Would Get Done is a great deal more than just a completely spot on, oh-so-true title; it is a collection of wonderful, amazing, stupendous, inspiring, butt-kicking things that women have done, continue to do, and your motivation and inspiration to do all of the butt-kicking things you want to do.

Women have done a great deal of amazing, awe-inspiring, and out of this world things to improve the quality of people’s lives everywhere simply by imagining the world as they would like to see it and creating it. But despite all that women have and continue to do to change the world, we are still often denied the respect that we have worked for and undoubtedly deserve. Most often, we are not taken seriously and even degraded and ridiculed for the work that we do because of society that has yet to overcome the patriarchy.

Even if we’re not making international headlines, in Rachanow’s mind (as well as in all women’s minds!) we should be given Nobel Prizes for friendship. We should be celebrated for what we do for our friends, for our families, for our jobs, for the world, and yes, even for ourselves. Self love and self care are what a lot of women have trouble doing because naturally, we are nurturers; we take care of our friends and our families and we stand up for and battle for the civil liberties and rights that we should undoubtedly possess for our determination and hard work at our jobs but when it comes to doing for ourselves, we tend to make excuses and we tend to think that we have not done enough yet in order to simply celebrate how much we have kicked butt that day. Rachanow gives us all that kick in the pants we need to celebrate who we are and what we do every single day of our lives and gives us the permission we so often deny ourselves to celebrate what we do as well as who we do it for.

Every page of this book is full of inspiration and motivation to celebrate what we do all the time and highlights the courageous, mind-blowing things women have done. Women created The American Legacy Foundation in efforts to build a world where young people can reject tobacco and help your friends quit smoking for good. Trickle Up is another organization that was created by the minds and hands of a woman sick of hearing about eradicating poverty and who actually did something about it. As we continue to learn more about exactly what women have done throughout the years to change the world, Rachanow tenderly reminds us at the end of every section that we too have the power to do wonderful, amazing, stupendous, inspiring, butt-kicking things equipped with lined pages to remind ourselves what we do for our families, how we’ve kicked butt that day when we don’t feel as if we have done quite enough, what we would do if we ran the world, what we will demand in our lives that we are not currently receiving and refuse to accept anything less, and of course, what we will get done for ourselves–Because we deserve it for all we do!

If Women Ran the World Sh*t Would Get Done is a no-bullshit book that will jump start your mind to begin thinking about the world you would like to see and the steps you can take to create it.

Rating:
Buy the Book!

Book Review: Getting Naked Again by Judith Sills, PhD

Relationship expert and bestselling author of titles including Excess Baggage, Fine Romance, and The Comfort Trap, or What If You’re Riding a Dead Horse?, Judith Sills’ latest offering to women is a big dose of reality, compassion, and humor served straight up.

Getting Naked Again is for any newly-single (or not-so-newly single) woman easing into romance, sex, and/or a new relationship after a divorce or a death of a spouse, but mostly and especially for women emerging from divorce after a lengthy marriage. Sills’ language is fast-paced and hilarious and will undoubtedly make you think that she is not merely a relationship expert, but someone who has met you, spent time with you, and then wrote a book about you and your life through the past months or even years. This book reads more like a group of close girlfriends with the famous, no holds barred dialogue between good friends that every woman experiences at some point in her life, or if she’s lucky, throughout her life. Getting Naked Again exposes that dialogue women have either with their friends or with themselves because sometimes what women think to themselves is not something that they would openly share with other people. Why? Because women do not like and will sometimes even downright refuse to put themselves in a place of vulnerability that is able to be seen by other people. Instead of seeming vulnerable, we appear strong, put together, confident, and self-aware while inside, we sometimes feel not completely sure of ourselves and even scared, especially when it comes to easing ourselves back into romance after thinking of ourselves as a part of a couple for so long.

Getting Naked Again will ease you out of whatever comfort zone you have been living in, whether you’ve thrown yourself into grandparenting, your career, a new career, compulsive baking, or a myriad of other activities women have a tendency to rely on in order to keep themselves afloat or just busy. It will guide you into realizing and accepting your situation and even embracing your singlehood while you test and try on potential long-term companions. Not only does Sills make you feel comfortable in who and where you are in your life, she gives you the Lincoln Logs to build your own future where you decide what happens in your life and how you transcend into the next phase of your life.

Getting Naked Again is the ultimate resource for older women (around age 30 and up) who have found themselves newly-single and need that one friend who identifies with what they’re feeling and is always full of great advice.

Rating:
Buy the Book!

Women Step Out of the Closet of Shame & Start Talking Openly About Periods

Most women remember their first periods and no matter what emotion or range of emotions they experienced on that day, they can still look back on it many years later and smile–for one reason or another. No matter what a woman thinks about her period, the bottom line is that it is with us for the long haul. It is one of our long-term relationships and even if we love it or hate it, it is with us for the majority of our lives; and if we live with our periods for the majority of our lives, why do women (in general) constantly feel shamed by it?

A great deal of women will give you an odd, ‘what planet are you from’ look if you ask them to tell you about their first periods. Many women (and especially men) will visibly become bothered if you dare speak its name during a conversation. Most men downright refuse to go on late-night or after work runs to the store to pick up a box of pads or tampons and all of these situations deal with the shame that is associated with menstruation. Sure, our lack of openness can be chalked up to menstruation happening to be an awkward subject, but it goes deeper than that, especially considering that it doesn’t have to be and it only is because our society has let itself become a woman-shaming society.

I have always been very open about my body, my sexuality, and the miracles that the body of a woman can perform in her lifetime. I honestly did not know where this openness came from, being raised by a single father, but I always had strong female role models in my life, one of which was my father’s girlfriend who became my mother-figure throughout my childhood. She taught me that the anatomy of a woman is beautiful and despite the abuse I had endured as a child from my mother (and the reason why my mother has not been in my life for more than a decade) there is nothing to feel ashamed about when it comes to your own body because it is yours and no one else’s and no one can tell you that you are not beautiful and that your body is in any way something to be looked at as vulgar or disgusting; including menstruation. For a while I thought that perhaps my natural-born feminism was something instilled in me from my upbringing, but from running this website (and hello, have you noticed the name of my website?) as well as paying special attention to the women who come from my generation, I am noticing that there are a great deal of women who are coming out of the shame closet; who are demanding that the awkwardness associated with the bodies and bodily functions of women are what is truly shameful and that the period is something that should be spoken about openly and honestly. That is exactly what Rachel Kauder Nalebuff, a young woman of 18, did when she started asking women to tell her about their first periods.

Nalebuff realized with her own first period and hearing the story of her Aunt’s first period that she had kept a secret for over 50 years, that people needed to start talking about this and the other events that happen in a young woman’s life that people are simply refusing to talk about openly. Something needs to be done in this society that would let this silence continue for so long and keep so many women captive in its process of women-shaming. And so she started collecting stories from women and girls all over the world about their first periods and now presents us with an absolute gem, My Little Red Book, for women and girls of all ages who are either just about to get their periods, just got it and feel awkward about it, or for women who remember their first periods vividly and celebrate the right of passage that we as women have to talk openly about it.

There are 90 short stories in all and several names we’ve come to know through their own books and activism work make appearances in this book, including Jennifer Baumgardner, Meg Cabot, Megan McCafferty, and Gloria Steinem’s 1978 essay, ‘If Men Could Menstruate’ which originally had appeared in Ms. Magazine also appears in this book. There are stories of how many women thought themselves to be dying when noticing the small stain in their panties, women who “faked” their periods when knowing that their friends had gotten their periods before them, and my favorite is a story about a mother who when her daughter first got her period and felt awkward about it, she had to do something to mark the day and so she bought her daughter a vase full of red roses and in another story, her daughter talks about how special those roses were to here and how she had kept the vase for years after that first period. Another one of my favorite parts of this book is that so many women talk about the Judy Blume book, Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret a book that you would think comes with all little girls at birth due to how widely-read and coveted it is, albeit a bit out of date for those of us who have never seen these menstrual pad belts Margaret speaks of.

My Little Red Book is a must for all women who have ever felt shamed or awkward about their period and also for every girl’s first period kit.

All of the proceeds of this book are being donated to charity because there is a lot to be done as far as making the bodily functions of women something that can be widely spoken about. There is also a great need for activism in countries like Africa, where because of the lack of menstrual supplies, a young girl will not receive the education that she is entitled to because one week out of every month will be spent out of school due to her period.

In the back of My Little Red Book, there is a section of books to read about periods including, yes, Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret and there is also a Do More section where your support for organizations like Planned Parenthood, who are the largest provider of sexual education and health services in the United States, as well as Choice USA, a youth-led organization that seeks to protect women’s reproductive rights, can tremendously help girls receive the sexual education that they too are entitled to. A company that I would like to add, is Lunapads. Lunapads are based in Canada and make reusable, cloth and fleece pads. Not only do they make a transition from disposables to reusable pads easy, their pads are completely harmless, unlike disposables that contain bleach and synthetic fibers. Lunapads also does great work for girls in Africa by giving them their Pads4Girls Kit and each pad has a lifespan of 5 years or more that will help African girls attend school when they have their periods.

You can find out even more about this book and even share your own first period story at MyLittleRedBook.net.

Rating:
Buy the Book!

Book Review: Be True to Yourself: A Daily Guide for Teenage Girls

I can vividly remember my “awkward teenage years.” It’s no surprise, really; they didn’t happen that long ago and looking back at those years objectively now, I have come to one definitive summary of those awkward teenage years–They are terrifying.

I recently experienced what happens when teenage rebellion and teenage angst is not simply a phase that one evolves out of, but a genuine problem that requires a sufficient amount of help with my 16 year old sister. There are hundreds of issues that affect the average teen every day and one of those issues is most often parents. Teenagers simply do not feel comfortable talking to their parents about important life issues. While that is unfortunate, I believe that it is a part of the growing up process to withdraw from your parents and is not something that can be helped because very, very few parents have that text book “perfect” relationship with their teens.

One of the most prominent activities I have always had in my life is reading. I have always had a genuine love for the written word and thankfully that trait has also emerged in my younger sister. I read Be True to Yourself and because it deals with the hundreds (366, to be exact) of issues that teens face on a daily basis, I knew that my sister would gain some wisdom from the book.

While the sub-title of Be True to Yourself is A Daily Guide for Teenage Girls, it really is just that. The book tackles one issue per day and gives teenage girls a daily message and is easily the companion they need during the years they need it the most, offering encouragement and daring teens to look inside of themselves for the answers to their true problems.

Be True to Yourself is the perfect gift for any teenage girl, no other gift could help them more and instead of being presented in a step-by-step self help kind of way, the format is a lot more fun and appealing to even girls who don’t like to read.

Rating:
Buy the Book!

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