Not So Common(ly Talked About) Relationships

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Split-Self. All opinions are 100% mine.

It’s no surprise that I am a huge fan of the young adult and chick lit genres. They are often very satisfying, light and decadent treats that make their frequent appearances in our book reviews section. While I read an array of different genres of books, it’s the chick lit books that let you wind down and curl up with at the end of a busy and stressful day and bring you into a world of humor and just often enough, lightheartedness.

There’s a book that just emerged on the scene that is self-defined as changing the course of chick lit and after reading a little bit about it, I am inclined to agree. Split-Self is a new book from F.S. Publishing that is your typical romance novel that will undoubtedly be intriguing to a great deal of people who have especially hopped on the Twilight and True Blood bandwagons. The main character of the story is a vampire who draws energy out of other people in order to supplement her own and she does this by feeding on them in seductive and totally hot encounters that leave them begging for more. But what this books has that redefines the typical chick lit genre we are all familiar with is that Split-Self revolves around a romance between a woman and a man… and another man. In F.S. Publishing’s own words: “Boy likes girl, boy also likes boy … girl thinks that’s hot.”

The romance itself in this novel will surely put a lot of people off from wanting to read it, but what I would really like to explore is the fact that why I automatically know in my gut that a great deal of people will not want to read it because the couple in the book is not a couple, but a polyamorous relationship containing one woman and two men. When people hear about most polyamorous relationships, especially with the induction of the HBO show Big Love and traditional polygamy being centered around one man with multiple wives. I actually really love the idea of a polyamorous relationship that includes one woman and two men; it’s a great spin and is actually a great deal more realistic than many may think.

Polyamory is not “new” by any means; it is not merely an open relationship, where people within a foundation relationship have permission to seek whatever they choose and have already agreed on beforehand outside of that relationship. What polyamory is, in fact, is more than two people in one, committed relationship. There are many sex educators and family therapists that counsel, have written books and have taught at lectures and workshops who educate people and couples of all kinds on how to live life with limitless sexual possibilities and while open and poly relationships are not merely based on sexual gratification, sexuality is one of the factors that could potentially cause rifts in your relationships due to jealousy and other conflicting emotions. One of the most intriguing non-fiction books I have found on the subject that I actually ordered the day after I discovered it is The Ethical Slut from educators and practicing “ethical sluts” Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt.

When you look at this topic from a wide angle and disregard the many, many immediate responses you will hear when a debate like this pops up such as the “sanctity of marriage,” poly relationships actually make a lot of sense. Very few animals are monogamous and as it turns out, very few married people, both male and female alike, are monogamous. According to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy approximately 50% of married women and 60% of married men will have extramarital affairs at some point while in their marriage. With statistics like these, it means that in nearly 80% of marriages as a whole, someone in that marriage is cheating on their spouse.

Given all of these little tidbits of information I have gathered, as well as my personal feelings on the topic, which is that in a relationship of any kind, what works for those people in that relationship is fine by me and I am not one to pass judgment on anyone or anyone’s relationship, I now want some of your input! What do you think of polyamorous relationships? Do they work? Can they work? Are you in one? Care to share any details? Leave whatever’s on your mind on the topic in the comments!

Family, Our Other New Category

When starting this site, I did not want to be a blog. I have never been a “I woke up this morning and ate a bowl of Cheerios.” blogger and did not want to become one, but upon reviewing this site the other night, I realized that I did want to be a little more personal here. I by no means lead a boring life, especially when it comes to my “family issues,” and that is exactly what I have decided to start writing about here!

By family, I do not mean parents, sisters, grandparents or what you would mostly think of when thinking about family. I am also not talking about husbands or children–At least not my children.

For those who have read a bit of this site, I talk about my partner quite a bit. We have been together for two years and seven months, although he will tell you “two years and something,” and in those two years and something, we have been through quite a number of ups, downs and sideways! Oh, and did I mention that he when we met, he was married and had two kids? And that happens to be a big part of our downs. I have went through a variety of stages when it comes to his marriage, his divorce, ex-wife and most of all, the fact that he has two kids.

Through our years together, after we hit about a year and a half we started to really talk about marriage, buying a house, having kids and doing the whole family thing and since then, nothing has changed except for the fact that we talk about it more and more and we have already decided that not only are we happy together, but we are seemingly perfect for each other and that our “happily ever after” plans are going to happen.

So what does a 21 year old woman do when her 30 year old soon-to-be husband is divorced, has two kids and she has the “Evil Stepmother” title looming over her head? Well you’ll soon find out because the new category, family, will contain all of my thoughts, stress, obstacles and hopefully the triumph of becoming a good and happy stepmother.

Stay tuned…