Disclaimer: This post is adult in nature and therefore only intended for a mature audience.
The Vibrating Pleasure Pump from Good Vibrations is one of the more interesting toys I have had the opportunity to take for a spin and review. It’s interesting, at least to me, because before receiving this toy, I had all of zero experience with pumps of any kind. I did not know what pumping my vulva or clitoris would do, exactly, although I imagined it would make the area more sensitive as more blood was pumped into it and who doesn’t like a little more (or a lot more) sensitivity? And hey, if it turned out I didn’t enjoy the pumping action, this thing also vibrates and I like vibrations, obviously.
So I received the Vibrating Pleasure Pump and naturally, ripped it open immediately. It was surprisingly smaller than I had anticipated. The pump in its entirety is 7 1/2 inches in length, but the head, which I thought would cover more surface area than it does, is just big enough to fit over my clitoris. The pump is made of plastic and the attachment that stretches over the head is made of TPR. The attachment has small ticklers that stimulate the clitoris and vulva when the vibration is turned on. A second, smooth attachment sans ticklers also comes with this toy, so depending on your personal preference, you can easily remove one attachment and use the other. The head is flexible and allows very subtle movement for easier placement and position against yourself. The entire toy is waterproof and the hand pump is really cute; it is covered in small, very slightly raised hearts, making it a little girly aesthetically, regardless of if you purchase it in purple or smoke. I received the Vibrating Pleasure Pump in smoke, which is really just a very dark grey color.
As for how the Vibrating Pleasure Pump works, you simply place the head of the toy over your clitoris, nipple, or any other sensitive spot you would like to use it on, and begin pumping via the hand-held pump. There is a small white button below the head that, when pressed once, turns a constant vibration on with its lowest setting, when pressed a second time the vibration gets a little faster, and finally, when pressed a third time, the vibration is even more intense. Easy, right? Yes, in theory! You see, this pump doesn’t necessarily pump or suck or whatever terminology you would like to use. After squeezing the hand-held pump twice, it’s done. That is all. No more pumping, and while it does suction to the area you are using it on, it doesn’t provide close to enough stimulation to make that much of a difference. When cycling through the vibration settings I found that the highest setting was just enough to slightly stimulate me and make me want more from it. This isn’t that surprising considering the Vibrating Pleasure Pump requires only two AAA batteries, but it is also extremely quiet and when using it, I could barely hear a thing, even when using it at its highest setting.
Essentially, the scenario you can look forward to with the Vibrating Pleasure Pump is giving the hand-held pump two squeezes then squeezing a few more times hoping it will grab onto you tighter. When you realize it won’t, you may take it off, switch to another spot, or reposition the head and do it again, and again, you will want more from it. When you turn the vibrations on to the highest setting, you will most likely start to believe that the pump has finally begun doing its job as it stimulates you just a wee bit more. You think that’s what your body was craving; you just needed the vibration! But wait, now you just need a little more. Just a little more stimulation and you’ll be good to go, but the Vibrating Pleasure Pump has nothing more to give and after a few more minutes, and maybe after a few more times of repositioning the toy against your body, you will give up.
The first time I used this toy I was ready to give up after about fifteen minutes of fumbling around and yearning for the toy to do more, but I wanted to stick it out and see if it was able to get and keep me where I wanted to be. I did end up having an orgasm with the Vibrating Pleasure Pump, but it was honestly one of the weakest orgasms I have ever had in my life and it left me gravely disappointed. It’s a shame because I had never tried out a pump of any kind before and I had all of these “Wouldn’t it be awesome if this was my newest sex toy obsession?” expectations that were all sorts of let down.
The Vibrating Pleasure Pump has a price tag of $32, but is part of the Under the Mistletoe sex toy kit which is part of the Good Vibrations holiday gift guide. The Under the Mistletoe kit is $49 and includes the Vibrating Pleasure Pump, the Butterfly Kiss Vibe, which we also reviewed back in August, in addition to Sliquid Silk lubricant and four AAA batteries.