I received a Luvmybox for review. No other compensation was received, and opinions are my own.

With their immense popularity, monthly subscription services — boxes of goodies spanning every imaginable interest and obsession delivered to your door every month — have only continued to grow and expand. There are currently more monthly subscription services out there than anyone could ever hope to keep track of, and if you think a topic isn’t being represented, just wait, because it is only a matter of time. Case in point: products for getting down in the bedroom. Filling this void is Luvmybox.

After seeing that they had begun following us on Twitter, we immediately looked into them after noticing how awesome their name is. Seriously. Luvmybox is the perfect name for a sex-positive company who has made it their mission to put together flirty, romantic, and just plain fun boxes of sexy goodies and discreetly ship them to the doorsteps of their subscribers every month. It’s safe to say that our hopes were pretty high after checking out their website and reaching out to them on Twitter about a possible partnership. Luckily they agreed, and here we are.

The January 2013 box arrived in mid-February, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Each month’s box has a distinct theme, and this one was everything you need for a sexy massage at home. Very timely for Valentine’s Day indeed.

A total of four different products were included in this box. Let’s start on a high note with the Jimmyjane Afterglow candle.

We have been fans of Jimmyjane for years now, having worked with them on reviews for some of their luxury vibrators, most recently the Form 4. This is their first massage product we’ve gotten our hands on, which was pretty exciting right off the bat.

Part beautiful candle sitting inside an elegant porcelain container and part massage oil, this candle has a beautifully intoxicating dark vanilla scent. It is an aphrodisiac scent that makes you close your eyes and inhale deeply. If they sold body wash in this scent, it would sell in bulk.

The 4.5oz clean-burning candle burns for up to 32 hours, and is body-safe and paraben-free. It does not contain phthalates, sulfates, petrochemicals, animal products, nor is it tested on animals.

As the candle melts hot oil accumulates, which can be easily dripped into your hand or directly onto the body of your partner with the pour spout molded onto the side of the porcelain container. The hot oil not only feels great during a massage, it also contains ingredients that are really great for your skin, including jojoba, shea butter, vitamin E, soy, and aloe.

Once the oil from the Jimmyjane Afterglow candle has been massaged into your partner’s skin, you can change up sensations with the acrylic massager. While the balls on each side of the massager are made of very hard acrylic, when moved over the skin, they feel like wheels gliding over your body, meant to put your body at ease. My fiance loves these things. He always picks one up when he sees bins of them on sale, which is often enough that we have several of these things around the house.

Because a sexy massage hardly ever ends there, this Luvmybox also came with O’My strawberry cheesecake flavored lubricant.

A shiny new bottle of lube would have been appreciated under normal circumstances, but not when those circumstances include heavy scents and scary chemicals. When it comes to great lube, you want to make sure to stay away from glycerin and parabens, always.

Scented, flavored, and packed full of glycerin, if we had even tried this lube, a UTI from hell wouldn’t be far behind. For more information about staying clear of lubricants containing glycerin and parabens, you can get more info here.

When looking through the past boxes from Luvmybox, I noticed that in the very first box they sent out, they included a bottle of Sliquid Naturals H20 lubricant, touting the fact that it is glycerin- and paraben-free. Obviously Luvmybox knows of the importance of using lube that does not contain glycerin or parabens, so why they would choose to include the glycerin-packed O’My flavored lubricant just four boxes later is beyond me.

The last product included in the January 2013 Luvmybox is Masque Sexual Flavors in chocolate and strawberry. These are paper-thin, orally-dissolvable, flavored gel strips that, and I quote, “enhance the romantic experience of fellatio by adding flavor, while simultaneously neutralizing the taste that some dislike.”

I am actually highly offended by Masque Sexual Flavors, and I will tell you why.

A product with the sole purpose of covering up the taste of semen to make you want to give a great blowjob is really insulting to the person you are performing fellatio on. Can you imagine the outrage that would ensue if the tables were reversed? If people suddenly started to flock to a product that promised to cover up a woman’s natural taste in order to make someone want to perform cunnilingus? I would certainly be offended — right after I wondered if there was something wrong with me and the rest of my gender that a product could come out and appeal to so many people with the same reservations about performing an intimate act. Frankly, if someone were going down on me and popped something into their mouth that was meant to cover up the natural taste of my body, that would be the last time they would be invited into my bed. Period.

It is products like these and the conversations that surround them that give people the idea that the natural state of their bodies are something to be ashamed of. I, for one, will have no part of that, and I will strive to make sure that I never give my fiance the idea that he has something to be ashamed of when it comes to his body and the way it works.

Knowing damn well that I would not be using Masque Sexual Flavors while in the act of performing fellatio, I decided to make my fiance part of the testing process. He opted for the strawberry Masque while I hesitantly put the chocolate gel strip on my tongue. We both had the exact same reaction: these things are absolutely disgusting. They take like a shot of chemicals, and it is gross. A 3-pack of Masque Sexual Flavors costs $9.95, and honestly, you could not pay me $10 to put another one of those strips in my mouth.

My experience with Luvmybox is varied. I am so in love with the concept of a monthly subscription service dedicated to products that help you relax and get sexy in the bedroom, but if I paid the $34.95 subscription price to Luvmybox and received this particular box in return, I would have been sorely disappointed. Essentially, I would have paid $34.95 for a candle. A gorgeous candle with a lovely scent and ability to transform into massage oil, yes, but a candle all the same. The acrylic massager was a nice addition, but I can also pick one of those up at any mass retailer for $1. The value of this box just wasn’t there.

Looking through the past boxes from Luvmybox, it seems as if the January 2013 box was the weakest of the bunch, especially considering two of the four products it contained were completely unusable for me. Most of the other boxes seem a bit more intriguing, although one point definitely resonates throughout them all — they all contain at least one product that could pique the interest or excite anyone who received it, surrounded by other products that just aren’t worth your time.

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4-5 themed flirty items for sexy time
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